Tuesday, 14 April 2026

The Emperor Nero attacks St Peter

Produced with the aid of Grok. Any resemblance to current affairs is purely coincidental.

Emperor Nero

@NeroCaesar

St. Peter is WEAK on Crime, and terrible for the Empire’s Foreign Policy. He talks about “fear” of the Roman Administration, but doesn’t mention the FEAR that the early Christian cults, and all other strange foreign sects, had during the recent disturbances when they were being arrested for holding their secret gatherings, even when meeting in hidden places far apart. I like his brother Andrew much better than I like him, because Andrew is all Roman. He gets it, and Peter doesn’t! I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s OK for the Parthians to keep their secret fire-weapons. I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s terrible that Rome crushed the Jewish rebels, a Province that was sending massive amounts of troublemakers, zealots, and assassins into our Empire, and even worse, emptying their prisons and sending murderers, rebels, and fanatics into our lands. And I don’t want a Pope who criticizes the Emperor of Rome because I’m doing exactly what the Senate and the People elected me to do, IN A LANDSLIDE, setting record low numbers in street crime in Rome, and creating the Greatest Games and Building Projects in History. Peter should be thankful because, as everyone knows, he was a shocking surprise. He wasn’t on any list to be Pope, and was only put there by that Galilean sect because he was a fisherman from the provinces, and they thought that would be the best way to deal with Emperor Nero. If I weren’t in the Imperial Palace, Peter wouldn’t be in Rome at all. Unfortunately, Peter’s Weakness on Crime, Weakness on allowing foreign cults to arm themselves, does not sit well with me, nor does the fact that he meets with sympathizers of past troublemakers like those who wanted honest citizens and priests of the old gods to be arrested. Peter should get his act together as Pope, use Common Sense, stop catering to the Radical Eastern Cults, and focus on being a Great Pope, not a Politician. It’s hurting him very badly and, more importantly, it’s hurting the True Roman Religion!

Emperor NERO

The Emperor Nero heals the sick.