Saturday, 27 November 2021

Beatitudes for popes

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Since Pope Francis has kindly produced eight modern non-rigid Vatican-II compatible platitudes beatitudes for bishops (yes, really ), we fe...
4 comments:
Tuesday, 16 November 2021

Arthur Roche for Pope!

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As seen on the "Where's Peter?" blog. Pope Francis has done a wonderful job in his eight years as Vice-God - he's never ...
5 comments:
Wednesday, 10 November 2021

New ApartTrad system announced

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Following the issue of Traditionis Custodes , Pope Francis has now decided a name for the new "first class" and "second class...
3 comments:
Sunday, 7 November 2021

Arthur Roche v Agatha Christie

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Arthur Roche, Prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, today admitted that he had "never he...
9 comments:
Friday, 5 November 2021

The Book of Covidicus 20: the Synod of Glasgow

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Continued from Chapter 19. 1. It came to pass that Bo-sis tired of preaching the good news about masks and vixens, and turned his attentio...
1 comment:
Wednesday, 3 November 2021

The Gift of Traditionis Custodes

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We are truly honoured today, in that His Eminence Cardinal Blase Cupich, winner of the 2019 World Cup of Bad Cardinals, has asked us to ...
5 comments:
Saturday, 30 October 2021

When Emperor Nero met St Peter

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Rome, AD 66 (approx.) St Luke, Reporter for EWTN, writes: 1. O Theophilus, it is indeed wearisome to write my words in numbered verses, ...
2 comments:
Wednesday, 27 October 2021

What happened after Francis left

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As I walked through the wilderness of this world, I lighted on a certain place where was a den, and laid me down in that place to sleep; and...
3 comments:
Sunday, 24 October 2021

Catholics keep out!

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It is becoming increasingly obvious that Christians - and especially Catholics - are not welcome in public life, and should know that their ...
1 comment:
Friday, 22 October 2021

Cowboys and Indians in the Catholic Church

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Usually in games of cowboys and Indians we take the side of the cowboys, but today we're changing sides and supporting the Indians. Arch...
2 comments:
Thursday, 21 October 2021

It's Pachamama Day!

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Today has seen great rejoicing in the Catholic Church worldwide, as we remember the second anniversary of the drowning of the heathen idol P...
3 comments:
Sunday, 17 October 2021

Good Samaritan arrested for looting

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A correction. Our star reporter Lambchop breaks the news. We are grateful to Pope Francis, the celebrated climatologist, left-wing pol...
6 comments:
Tuesday, 12 October 2021

The second ever synod

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All throughout history momentous decisions have been made by means of synods (and sometimes by synods about synods). We have already seen th...
3 comments:
Sunday, 10 October 2021

How to receive papal guests

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Yes, it's another one in our series "How to be a good pope", containing top tips for those readers who may end up with the big...
2 comments:
Friday, 8 October 2021

Pope Francis snubs Glasgow

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The Climate Change TM world is reeling in horror today with the news that Pope Francis will not be attending November's prestigious COP...
3 comments:
Tuesday, 28 September 2021

Thoughts are better than prayers

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Taking our guidance from Britain's most prominent Catholic, Boris Johnson, we learn that thoughts are far more useful than prayers. For...
4 comments: