Monday, 26 August 2024

Which bits of the Bible can we omit?

There's been a bit of controversy this week about the second reading in the Novus Ordo Mass, which was Ephesians 5:21-32: this has some juicy stuff about wives submitting to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ. As far as I know, in England and Wales, this bit is not optional (sometimes, parts of a reading can be omitted, but only if it is too long and the priest wants to get away early); however, in the USA it seems that St Paul's teaching does not meet with modern feminist ideals, and can be omitted if the priest is worried about being beaten up by irate women after the Mass is over.

"And if St Paul comes here, he'll get the same!"

So I looked at all the readings for last Sunday (including the psalm) to see whether there are other parts that should really be omitted to avoid offending sensitive souls.

Reading 1: This is from Joshua 24, and our hero calls the people together and tells them that if they don't want to serve the Lord, then they can go and serve the other gods, including the gods of the Amorites. The people decide to stay put.

Verdict: Well, this isn't very ecumenical, is it? I think we'd better cut this a bit, to avoid offending fans of Pachamama and similar alternative gods.

Amurru

The Amorites worshipped Amurru, seen here dressed for motorcycling.

Psalm: Based on Psalm 33. It has the refrain "Taste and see that the Lord is good".

Verdict: This may offend people with no taste - and I don't mean modern hymn-writers, I mean inability to taste food and drink; and of course, what are the blind supposed to think? There's another awkward bit later on, where we're told that the just man will be rescued from his trials, and "not one of his bones shall be broken". What are people with broken bones going to think of that?

"This wouldn't have happend if you were a just man."

Reading 2: St Paul reveals that he is not exactly a feminist.

Verdict: Enough said already.

Gospel: From John 6. This starts with "After hearing His doctrine many of the followers of Jesus said, 'This is intolerable language. How can we accept it?'"

Verdict: We know how they feel. Look, let's just scrap all these Bible readings and skip to the homily, where the priest can make us feel comfortable by telling us about his holiday in Madeira.

5 comments:

  1. I'd settle for a 2 minute homily that covers the bare bones and key parts of the faith than 15 minutes of drivel. It'd be quicker. Even if the priest isn't big into homilitics, he could keep it short regardless.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Intolerable language indeed, and not to be tolerated, especially by the tolerant...

    ReplyDelete
  3. When St Paul gets on to the subject of women he always reminds me of "Darwin's bulldog", the late Thomas Henry Huxley, on evolution theory. IIRC Our Blessed Lord never said owt about women ordered to keep stumm in church, for example, nor that women sould be subject to men. When ever you get a great leader, you soon get a host of lesser men yapping out interpretations of what he said, interpretations which reveal much more about the yappers than about the originals.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "She who must be obeyed"...a fine joke on us women, but in reality it refers to one woman only:
    Mary Virgin Mother
    "Our tainted nature's solitary boast" (Wm Wordsworth, 1822)

    Signed, Lady jane

    ReplyDelete
  5. Same applies to the Breviary. Have to go back to 1960 to hear the Psalm St. Peter quotes while the Apostles are choosing Matthias to replace Judas Iscariot. Some verses (and even entire Psalms) are simply too severe for our delicate modern ears

    ReplyDelete