Bosco does pennances

My dere bruvver Bosco is a very holly pusson, and he was readin about Pop John-Pual doin pennances, so he fought he mihgt try dis himsself. Of course bein saved he doesnt ever committ sins, but he saw an advert in de newspapper which looked interrestin.

DOES YOU WANT A REAL TREET? PHON SISTER WHIPPIE OF DE SISTERS OF NO MERCY ON 202-456-1414 AND SHE WILL GIVE YOU A GOOD TIME.

"Dat's de fing for me!" said Bosco, and he went off to visit dis Whippie dame. He came back lookin very disappointed. Apparrently he had hoped dat she wuold tie him to de bed and beet him tottally senseless (he dont have far to go, I suppose), but all she did was feed him on puddins until he felt sick.

De next day we got anuvver unexpected telephon call from Farver Arfur. "Hello," he says. "I is a preist in good standin, as I may have mentoined before. I has even got my own cossack and surplus, wot I buoght in a car boot sail in Rom. Wuold you like to confess some sins? I has got a letter from de Pop sayin dat I can forgive dem. Or if you says some Hale Marys and pays me $100, den I can give you addvance permissoin to commit lots of sins."

Bosco said dat he wuold take 1000 Hale Marys worth of forgivness, and Farver Arfur said dat for a big pennance like dat Bosco cuold have a licence to kill (1 murder). Or he could do 5 greivous boddily harms, or 100 minnor sins, like throwin cabbages at little old ladies in de street, or usin a sockpoppet on a blogg.

So Bosco is finkin carefully abuot some interrestin and origginal new sinns, we doesnt want to waste dis creddit wiv de Lord.

Since Bosco soon got fed up with Whippie puddins, his spiritaul adviser, Sister Whippie, offered him somefink called Angle Delihgt which was also very holly-soundin. But he didnt like it.

Now Bosco got a job advertising breakfast serials, dey said dat he was de perfect pusson to sell de prodduct. We aint quite figgered out why dey fink dat.