Dear Auntie Ella,
My daughter is obsessed with the occult, like many healthy nine-year-olds. Recently, she has been
conducting seances in her bedroom, inviting Madame E. Curti, a local medium, to summon up the spirits of
dead people. Last week, for example, she conjured up her Uncle Albert, Charlie Chaplin, and Mgr Basil Loftus (the last was
rather a surprise until we realised that his soul had long since parted company from his body).
A perfectly normal interest for a young child.
So far there have been no ill effects apart from the fact that her bedroom smells strongly of ectoplasm and the cat has disappeared. Oh - and there was the unfortunate incident when her best friend encountered the demon Melbrinionon-sadsazzer-steldregandish-feltselior and was carried off down to Hell. We are faithful Catholics, regular readers of Crux, and great fans of Pope Francis. Do you see a problem with this?
Auntie Ella writes: It is good for children to have a hobby. Admittedly the Catholic Church warns against occultism, conjuring up spirits, cosying up to demons, and playing around with the supernatural. But after all, Tolkien was a Catholic, and nobody ever told him off for writing those books of his!
Tolkien - wrote about wraiths and spirits.
Dear Auntie Ella,
My teenage son Victor has started to take an interest in grave-robbing, and has formed a fine collection of body parts. He tells me that he is just one spleen and three bones short
of making a complete monster, which he proposes to animate the next day we have a thunderstorm. As a pious Catholic who attends Mass every Christmas, should I feel
concerned?
Auntie Ella writes: This is perfectly normal activity for a Catholic teenager. However, I should check that the wiring in your house is safe, as we don't want him to start a fire, do we?
The monster offers to help in the garden.
Dear Auntie Ella,
My daughter Catherine sleeps in a coffin during the day time, and goes out only at night "for a drink", as she puts it. Also she keeps
dozens of
bats in her bedroom.
I am worried that this pattern of behaviour
is causing her to neglect her studies, and she may fail to get into Oxford University. As a faithful Catholic, what should I do?
Auntie Ella writes: Do not worry. If she can't make it into Oxford, she might try Roehampton.
An anxious moment waiting for A level results.
Dear Auntie Ella,
My daughter has been reading Crux and taking advice from its agony aunt. Is this wise?
Auntie Ella writes: Er, well....
Please tell me that publication has been condemned by the relevant bishop and ordered to stop calling itself "Catholic"! Whatever the strange faith of that advisor, it is most certainly opposed to the Faith and the moral law.
ReplyDeleteAs a witch in bad standing I am writing to complain about the blatant wiccaphobia in this post. As Bishop Schneider has pointed out, bishops and cardinals have moved on from spreading neo-pelagianism to spreading neo-paganism, so who are you to grudge?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of bats - do you know someone named Maureen?
ReplyDeletePlease be more kind to former Teachers' Training Colleges such as Roehampton, after all they have much to offer in contact with the less able than Oxford University.. They offer a breath of realism remote from the intellectual elite.
ReplyDeleteIn a recent survey of Neo-Catholic schools it has been established that students prefer Spelling activities. In my opinion, it is just witchful thinking. In fact, they have discovered too that dyslexic students tend to sell their souls to Santa. And can you guess witch craft is the most popular? Yes, you are correct - making wicca-baskets.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is the second time that I have come upon this Crooks journal which prides itself upon being all things katholic. I'll take care when being confronted with it a third time.
ReplyDelete