"I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO LOVE HIM," said God, "BUT HE IS SUCH A LOATHSOME TOAD THAT ONLY AN OMNIPOTENT BEING SUCH AS I COULD MAKE A REALISTIC JOB OF IT."
Smug, about to be killed by Smaug (disappointingly, this didn't really happen).
Stephen Fry, of course, has recently developed an interest in theology, possibly because his young "husband" is currently taking Religious Studies as one of his GCSEs. As such, he has discovered for the first time the Problem of Pain, that there is suffering in the World. Apparently, theologians throughout the ages never noticed this before, and it took a mega-brained actor to point it out to them.
"We know what's wrong with you, but only Stephen Fry can explain why."
Meanwhile, God had another comment to make. "SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HIS 'QI' PROGRAMME IS SOME SORT OF PARADISE. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE AN ETERNITY OF LISTENING TO FRY MAKING SMUG REMARKS TO A SYCOPHANTIC AUDIENCE? I'D RATHER GO TO THE OTHER PLACE - RTE TELEVISION."
Delivering the message of a not-very-good Fry Day.
In conclusion, God remarked. YES, TV CAN BE VERY WONDERFUL, BUT IT CONTAINS INSECTS WHOSE WHOLE PURPOSE IS TO BURROW INTO PEOPLE'S BRAINS AND DRIVE THEM MAD: THE BRIGSTOCKE, THE BRAND (ANY BRAND), THE GERVAIS... YES, AND THE FRY. THE MOMENT YOU BANISH THEM, LIFE BECOMES SIMPLER, PURER, CLEANER AND MORE WORTH LIVING."
He's right, you know.
"...currently taking Religious Studies as one of his GCSEs."
ReplyDeleteIn Primary School? Wow! Such precocity!
I saw a bit on a You Tube slot from his RTE spiel in which he said that he would not want to go to heaven if it meant being with such a nasty god who created insects which ate their way out of the eyes of children, blinding them. He would much prefer the Norse gods because one knew where one stood with them! He is such an odious prat, oozing self-satisaction.
ReplyDeleteI usually switch off before this over-exposed idiot appears on television. What a joy to read this blog!
ReplyDeleteThis story is a bit of a fry up.
ReplyDelete