Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Eccles sees an apparition at Medjugorje

Pope Francis has expressed doubts about the alleged apparitions at Medjugorje, but we on this blog tend to show more love and mercy, so I took a Medjugorje Holiday, advertised as "SEE YOUR OWN PERSONAL APPARITION, AT A TIME CONVENIENT TO YOU, OR YOUR MONEY BACK". Note that the claims of Medjugorje are really spectacular - SIX kids and NINE secrets - making Fatima, in comparison, seem as ordinary as Luton.

postcard

Having a lovely apparition. Wish you were here.

What the Holy Father really thinks is that the apparitions are nasty wicked things, probably the fault of Cardinal Burke and his sock-puppets, although he is not yet ready to say this definitively. Anyway, I checked into the Hotel Apparitio (2 star), and requested an apparition for midnight.

I prepared myself with some spiritually nourishing reading, namely Amoris Laetitia, the Da Vinci Code, and Bosnian for Dummies (just in case MY apparition didn't speak English). Also a good bottle of Château Karadžić plonk ("The wine for war criminals").

Radovan Karadžić

Father Ted Karadžić, a local priest.

Anyway, at midnight precisely there was a knock on the door, a voice announced "Your apparition, sir!" and in walked an old lady.

Now, I think the Pope has hit the nail on the head here, as this apparition is totally unlike the Blessed Virgin Mary in all respects.

Anti Moly

My personalized apparition.

She didn't have much of a message for me, just muttering "Got any gin, Eccles?" before she reeled out again. But... but... she did turn up at midnight, and she did address me directly. Makes you think, doesn't it?

But what can the message mean? Gin... spirit... Holy Spirit... spirit of Vatican II... juniper berries... Jupiter... Barnabas (Acts 14:12)... it's all too deep for me.

I returned home spiritually nourished, but I don't know what it was all about. No wonder the Pope is baffled.

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21 comments:

  1. john konnor16 May 2017 at 18:01

    ...felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas...

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  2. Maria K.16 May 2017 at 18:25

    Hahahahahaha! A little extreme, but it does remind me of the Medj-heads.

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  3. Anonymous16 May 2017 at 18:36

    I would stay away from mocking any place associated with The Blessed Mother. It's not something real Catholics do.

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    Replies
    1. Eccles16 May 2017 at 19:01

      The point is that it's nothing to do with The Blessed Mother. Ask the Pope.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous16 May 2017 at 19:46

      Okay, I'll ask the pope if you ask The Blessed Mother, deal?

      Delete
    3. Eccles16 May 2017 at 20:39

      That's enough trolling. Back in your shed now.

      Delete
  4. Zephyrinus16 May 2017 at 19:35

    Now. About Luton . . .

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    Replies
    1. Eccles16 May 2017 at 20:41

      The world is not yet read for the twenty-seven secrets of Luton.

      Delete
  5. Hey Nonny Nonymus16 May 2017 at 22:30

    As legal advocaat to Mrs Mo Lybdenite, I am writing to notify you to cease and desist from linking her good name to the apparitions in Megaforgery. If this scandalum magnatum is not rectified forthwith, I will be forced to bill you for the costs of 487 green ink letters to your employers; your employer's parish priests, and your employer's cat (who is, I believe, a Mutual). If this doesn't work, I may be forced to turn up on your doorstep in Notting Hell and reassure your wife that I am not stalking you.

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  6. not an idiot17 May 2017 at 02:15

    After decades of abuse, I've about had it with so-called "Christians" who mock those who have been positively influenced by the alleged apparitions at Medjugorje. Not one is obligated to believe in any Marian apparitions including the approved ones. I don't know why some people are so threatened and afraid of what is going on in Medjugorje. If you don't want to believe in a Marian apparition, including Guadalupe, Pilar Spain, Fatima, Lourdes, etc. etc. etc. then don't. But others have a right to believe in any that have been either approved or not outright condemned by the Church. Grow up.

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    Replies
    1. Paul Hellyer17 May 2017 at 10:03

      Some believe in signs and wonders yet the greatest miracle is the re-presentation of Our Lords passion and death at every Holy Mass. Now sadly made mundane and non transcendent by the Protestantisation or even Arianisation of the liturgy. I went to Medjugore years ago. Not impressed. Even saw the sun phenomenon but then I saw the same phenomenon while driving on Leeds ring road.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous17 May 2017 at 23:45

      After decades of abuse, I see no reason to stop now. I've about had it with so-called "Christians" who mock trolls who spout sententious tripe about Medjugorge at 2am while under the influence. Not one of them is obligated to read my own luvvly blog "Not an Idiot" in which I publish my draft acceptance speeches for the Golden Cleric awards. I don't know why some people are so threatened and afraid when I write to their employer or turn up on their doorstep. If you don't want to believe in my sockpuppets, including Diggy, Bedelia, Bediggia, Devilia, Milistammer, Dakota Squelch, Janina Schmuck, Invisiballs etc etc etc then don't. But other more gullible people have a right to believe in any that have been approved, or not outright condemned by Twitter. Grow up, or you'll end up with a Napoleon complex, like myself.

      Delete
    3. Muv17 May 2017 at 23:57

      Sure you hadn't bilocated to Luton ring road?

      Delete
    4. Zephyrinus20 May 2017 at 12:24

      That's "Luton" mentioned AGAIN !!!

      Eccles. Does The Pope know ???

      Delete
  7. Pulex17 May 2017 at 08:57

    How sad that the authority of Pope Francis is only invoked when he denies the apparitions of Our Lady in Medjugorje. However, when he authoritatively interpreted the apparitions of St. Anthony of Spadaro and (soon-to-be)St. Eugene of Scalfari he was mocked, contradicted and confronted with dubia. Why such selective approach?

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous18 May 2017 at 02:32

      what authority? They're saying he denies these apparitions, but not all of them. That almost exposes him for what he really is.

      Delete
  8. Osusanna17 May 2017 at 21:42

    No secrets: An exorcist called your apparation diabolical Eccles. Please say some deliverance prayers for yourself.
    http://unamsanctamcatholicam.blogspot.com/2011/04/bishop-and-exorcist-andrea-gemma-on.html

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  9. Anonymous17 May 2017 at 22:49

    Perhaps you could accompany his deliverance on duelling banjos, Sister Susanna.

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  10. Eccles18 May 2017 at 08:34

    Author's note. Could you please stop calling yourselves "Anonymous". Obviously I'm using my real name, but a made-up name would be acceptable. Suitable names are Pope Francis, Tina Beattie, Richard Dawkins, or Radovan Karadžić, but you can probably think of something anyway.

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  11. Anonymous21 May 2017 at 18:24

    LOL! "Got any gin, Eccles?"

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