The Caped Crusader
Over to Dolan Manor, just behind St Patrick's Cathedral in New York, where millionaire socialite Timothy Dolan is settling down to a light snack of lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top, and spam. His protégé, Jimmy, is using his "Boy's Own Engineering Set" to build a bridge, and painting it in rainbow colours to match the leotard he is wearing.
The phone rings, and Alfred the Butler (any suggestions?) answers it.
Alfred (nonplussed): The Riddler to speak to you on the Fatphone, sir.
Riddler: Here's a good one for you, Fatman! What do you call someone who promotes abortion, but who is still regarded as being of good standing in the Catholic Church? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Dolan: He's rung off. Quick - to the Fatcave! Maybe the Fatcomputer can help with this one.
Fatman's arch-enemy has a riddle for him!
In a flash, Dolan puts on his robes and becomes Fatman! Likewise, Jimmy is now Martin the Boy Wonder! They slide down a specially toughened pole, and arrive in the Fatcave!
Fatman: There's a message on the Fatcomputer, Boy Wonder! It says that Governor Cuomo of Godless City has signed a new abortion law. Also I've got 50 people on Twitter asking me why I don't excommunicate him!
Martin: What? And make yourself unpopular? Think of all those parties and dinners you'd miss if you started standing up for Catholic values! Play your cards right, and my friend Stephen Colbert will invite you on his show.
Fatman: Exactly. Well I'll just block these troublemakers on Twitter. Hmm, one's called Eccles. I wonder who that is?
Martin: Look! Here's some real crime, Fatman! A Covington schoolboy has been seen aggressively standing silently wearing a red MAGA hat, while national hero Big Chief Flaming Pants Magua was quietly banging a drum in his face. Magua says "I wanted to scalp um, but he wear red hat. Me, big national Vietnam hero, fire many arrows at Vietcong when only 5 years old."
Excommunicate him for smirking!
Fatman: Sounds bad, Boy Wonder.
Martin: Can we excommunicate him, Fatman? Please, please, please! Bishop John Stowe says that it was Hitler who invented the red hat, and nobody wearing one can possibly be pro-life.
Fatman: Oh, we really shouldn't get involved, Boy Wonder. So, back to the Fatkitchen now! I'm hungry!
A national hero.
Brilliantly done, Sir. 😁
ReplyDeleteMaybe Rosica as the butler, no, Ganswein, he's far more mysterious.
ReplyDeleteWe in these Natted states are going to have to get over our fear of saying black and brown and Indian. The anti-white and anti-Christian crowds are just warming up. We've got perpetual victim groups in great abundance, everybody has benefited from living in these Natted states, mostly created by European founders, but revisionists will take care of that. Pretty soon history books will record only Muslim and LGBT founders, as well as women of course, and truth will just faaade away. They are angry, vulgar, and often violent. They will all bop you in the head without much of a thought. People have said the most horrific thing about mere Catholic boys who were there to defend life and ended up the victim of real racial hatred, from black and brown (or red) to white. That fact will be suppressed. The powers that be can't handle the truth.
What? wearing a hat in support of the regularly elected President of your own country? where are the parents of this teen? arrest them or something.
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ReplyDeleteHeres a riddle; What do you call someone who says they are not catholic but always concerns themselves with catholic nonsense?
ReplyDeleteAnswer; You call them a sick little monkey.
Are you referring to yourself, Bosco? I'm as Catholic as the Pope (well, rather more, in fact).
DeleteYou swore up and down that you weren't catholic.
DeleteOf course *really* I was telling the truth when I said that Bosco is my big bruvver and we goes to de Calumny Chapel and worships cement doves, before going out and harassing nuns.
DeleteIm still trying to figure out who you really are, brother Eccles. Im one step closer now. Changing your story or either forgetting what you say is the realm of females.That and your weak sterile humor convinced me you are female. Possibly Annie. She is a ding bat extraordinaire. Ill find out. Hahahahahahahaha
DeleteStill muddlerating I see. Say brother Eccles, why don't you do a piece on your hero, the third highest man in the Vatican, Cardinal Pell. Im sure he could use some good publicity about now.
ReplyDelete"Fire many arrows at Vietcong when only 5 years old." The the Fatcave! And the Fatphone! And whats more, in the Lego Batman movie, his favourite meal is lobster thermidor! Dear Bruvver Eccles, this was a much needed laugh. More adventures of Fatman and Martin the Boy Wonder, please.
ReplyDeleteMost of the nuns who taught me were were built like Valkyries and could crash tackle and deck any harrassers plus hurl cement doves and missals further than any Olympian javelin thrower. That's the problem with Catholicism nowadays they don't have those scary proper nuns anymore.
ReplyDeleteFear not sister Cressida, your nuns are just as violent and vicious as ever.
DeleteYou still here, Dimwit? Would that be because nobody is reading your own blog?
Delete-My worldwide blog gets lots of views. I invite lots of Mary worshipers to my glorious site but they have nothing to say.They cant do the deny thing, so they don't say anything. Im amazed at how many people have looked at my all purpose site. It tells me how many people view it.
ReplyDeleteSeems you have a very nasty little troll with the st bosco comments. How tolerant of you to allow him. These little devils work all kinds of mischief...that's what devils do. If you decide to remove him we won't miss him at all.
ReplyDeletest bosco; You should read 'The life of Christ' by Fulton Sheen. It is very good
ReplyDeleteBrother Paul, I have read the life of Christ, in the KJV. I don't need a costumed holyman who bows befor images to tell me about the Jesus I already know personally. Thank you anyway.
Deletebosco. You are obviously one of those sola scriptura chappies. If it's not in the Bible it's not true. Is that you?
DeleteBishop Fulton Sheen was a very good man. You could learn a lot about Christianity by reading his book 'The life of Christ' You may learn something new. We can all do with a bit of humility and acknowledge that we don't know everything, especially in the matter of Our Lord and God. Who by the way established the one and only true religion which is to be found in the Holy Roman Catholic Church
P.
Brother Paul, I liked brother Sheen. He was on the money and made everything clear. Where I parted ways with him was in his Mary devotion.Do I believe if its not in the bible, it isn't true? History books are mostly true, and auto mechanics books are true. You can take a passage out of the bible and stick it in a book full of falsehoods,....that doesn't make the book true. Compare the truth in question with what the scriptures say. If they don't line up, then the truth in question isn't true. If you don't believe what scriptures say, then you are free to believe anything and everything. Sure, I don't know everything. It hits me in the face everytime I open a science book or math book. There is a solution. The saved let Jesus do the thinking for them.The Lord is our Shepherd.
DeleteYes but Jesus did not establish a book based Church. He established a living church based on the apostles and their successors. His truth is enshrined in scripture and tradition. Devotion to Mary evolved due to realisation of her supreme status as the Mother of God. And Jesus giving his mother to us via St John.
DeleteIt would be good if you prayed to Mary as to a mother. It would please her Son immensely.
Best wishes.
Paul .
Brother Paul, Jesus based his church on himself, not men. If you prefer a man based church, you are in the right church. Jesus gave Mary to John to take care of her. Jesus didn't give her to me. I don't know any Mary. Jesus I know and another I will not follow.
DeleteBosco. Please ignore or delete my last reply. I wish you every blessing in your faith in Our Lord Jesus Christ.
DeleteSorry Eccles...I hope I have not encouraged the troll with my comment. It was meant in the spirit of humour.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister Cressida,i beg your pardon. I am not your average run of the mill garden variety troll. I am the all seeing all knowing great and powerful Bosco the Magnificent. Thank you very much.
DeleteFor butler, may I recommend Mr. Theodore McCarrick? I understand he's now unemployed.
ReplyDelete