Tuesday, 23 April 2019

Almost thou persuadest me to be an Easter Worshipper

As recorded in Acts 11, Saul and Barnabas came to Antioch, and hung around for a year, teaching. And, as Luke records, the disciples were called Easter Worshippers first in Antioch.

Luke omits the details, but it is clear that these Easter Worshippers were devoted to a sacred rabbit, and lived mostly on chocolate eggs. At other times of the year they were known as "Xmas Worshippers", indulging in strange rituals involving shopping, mince pies, and fat men in red coats and white beards sitting in "grottos".

Lom and Hopkins as Saul and Barnabas

Saul and Barnabas hit on the name "Easter Worshippers".

But Easter Worshippers has been the traditional name, ever since the first century. As Agrippa said to Paul, "Almost thou persuadest me to be an Easter Worshipper". Even St Peter got in on the act, with his "Yet if any man suffer as an Easter Worshipper, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf."

Leeds gaffe

How Leeds City Council celebrated Easter. (H/T C.H.)

The name occurs in many hymns, such as the militant "Onward, Easter Worshipper soldiers," the rather soppy "They'll know we are Easter Worshippers by our love", and the stirring "Easter Worshippers awake, salute the Happy Morn!"

Then again, it has also become a first name (what old fashioned people call an "Easter Worshipper name" as opposed to a "surname"). Hans Easter-Worshipper Andersen, Dr Easter-Worshippeer Barnard, Easter-Worshipper Dior, ...

James Martin

A male model shows off a shirt by Easter-Worshipper Dior.

So, can we PLEASE stop hearing people whining just because Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and the rest of George Soros's sockpuppets referred to the Christians massacred by Islamists in Sri Lanka as "Easter Worshippers"? That is what they called themselves, and that is what we should call them.

9 comments:

  1. Very sad if that is the way Leeds city council celebrates Easter. We have abandoned the precious gift of Christianity given to us by God. Now we will suffer and are suffering the consequences.

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  2. Yes indeed, having just recently found out that, rather than being a Catholic as I supposed, I am in fact an Easter Worshipper, I am looking forward to the Creed next Sunday to find out what we Easter Worshippers believe in.

    I believe in one holy, catholic and apostolic Easter?

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  3. Easter-Worshiper Dior converted to Islam. He's now known as Muslim Dior.

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  4. In honor of the new Easter worship I suggest the people of the West change all current surnames to the new and hip "Dhimmi". So appropriate, and eliminates all that old attachment to ancestral geography now taken over by compassionate Islam. Be the first on your block!

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  5. What on earth do you expect from Leeds City Council? No doubt they will soon be changing the name of Headingly but there may be opposition from the Yorkshire Cricket Club on that one.
    I wonder what they will do with Kirstall Abbey. I believe that they own it too.

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    Replies
    1. Kirkstall abbey is a complete wreck but then so is the crew running our church. Communion in the hand, Dubia not answered, laymen distributing holy Communion etc. etc.
      Yes they can call us Easter people because we no longer oppose the world but try to appease it.

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  6. Just as "soros-sock-puppet" is both fitting and proper.

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  7. Have you ever noticed?
    Lionel Messi AKA Lionel Messi
    Zlatan Ibrahimović AKA Zlatan Ibrahimović
    Diego Armando Maradona AKA Diego Armando Maradona

    CRISTIANO Ronaldo AKA CR7

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  8. The sacred rabbit, being naughty in his sight, suffered snuffage by Brother Maynard. That Holy Hand Grenade of (aforementioned Syrian provenance), though handily slaying irascible ruminants, were better suited to vex more venous species, like sloth.

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