Bishop Tobin makes a humble apology

Bishop Thomas Tobin (not to be confused with Cardinal Joe Nighty-Night Tobin, whose views are rather different) managed to upset a lot of people by reminding Catholics that Gay Pride events are an invention of the Devil, and that people taking part will be assigned to the Lake of Fire faster than you can say "James Martin."

Being a bishop, he did not use those exact words (although St Paul would certainly have done). Since this blog has now decided to become a work of accurate record, following an embarrassing incident in which people were led to believe that Prof. Massimo Faggioli was actually a Count Massimo Faggioli, we are posting the original tweet verbatim.

Oops... Bishop accidentally reminds people of Catholic teaching.

Anyway, after an outcry from the Catholic community worldwide (including Piers Morgan, ha ha ha), the good bishop has backpedalled with the standard non-apology, which goes along these lines:

I deeply regret that you are such a load of wusses that you throw a wobbly whenever a bishop reminds you of Catholic teaching. I can only apologise sincerely, by saying "Keep your hissy fits to yourselves, you brood of vipers, and go to confession!"

This backtracking appears to have satisfied everyone, and is being spun as BISHOP SUPPORTS LGBT EVENTS AFTER ALL, TOBIN WITHDRAWS HOMOPHOBIC ABUSE, and TOP CATHOLIC SAYS "CAN I COME ALONG?"

Bishop Thomas Tobin

In next week's news: Bishop Tobin advises that theft is against Catholic teaching, and is justly condemned by the TBRPPBMEF (thieves, bank robbers, pick-pockets, muggers, embezzlers and frauds) community.