Saturday, 22 May 2021
The very first synod
Scene: the Garden of Eden, c. 4004 B.C. Present: Adam, Eve, Serpent, all naked.*
*An old custom for synods revived in Germany in 2025.
Serpent: Now, Adam and Eve, welcome to the Garden of Eden Synod.
As the only talking creatures in this area,
God has asked us to hold
this meeting. Apparently He likes synods.
Adam: I don't remember Him mentioning this to us.
Serpent: He said it to me when you were down the garden. Trust me, I'm a Jesuit. Why, in six thousand years from now
a pope will call a three-year synod about synods in order to discuss synods about synods. So they must be what God wants.
Dialogue is a GOOD THING.
Eve: What's a pope?
Serpent: Never mind that for now. Let's get started. Now I think we all know each other, so let's have item 1 on the agenda.
Should we eat the apples on the tree in the middle of the garden?
Adam: No, God said we should not. [Opens copy of THE GENESIS HERALD.] Yes, here it is, just before the bit about summer fashions made of figleaves.
Serpent: Ah, but we may find we disagree. Would it not be a cruel persecution of the LGBA (Loves Great Big Apples) community?
Adam: How about a period of discernment to help us decide on this one?
Eve: Good idea. [Discerns for ten seconds.] Let's do it.
Serpent: Excellent. Apple pie for tea, then.
[All applaud the success of the Synod.]
Spoiler: it turns out badly.
The first domino!
ReplyDeleteHave you prayed upon the synodality of your synodal attempt in synod to synodalize the synod of your synodal purpose towards a true synod, and with sufficient synodality on your synodal part ?
ReplyDelete[Ed. need me to get this hack to rewrite using "kerygma" instead ?]
Synod is code for "soviet".
ReplyDeleteDon’t rush in, to home made translations 😇
ReplyDeleteWould you Adam and Eve it? Probably...
ReplyDeleteGod needs to get with the program. In the Garden of Eden it should have been GREEN apples.
ReplyDelete