The Arthur Roche Thanksgiving Mass

The scene: Leeds Cathedral, Yorkshire.

The date: Monday 14th November 2022.

The event: A thanksgiving mass to celebrate the elevation of the former Leeds bishop Arthur Roche to greatness (or at least the college of cardinals).

Present: Just about all the Catholic bishops of England and Wales...

The great man is truly sorry for the pain felt by traditional worshippers.

Unfortunately, the Livestream wasn't working (this is true, like everything else so far in this post), so we can only reconstruct the event ourselves...

The event was well-attended. The congregation included numerous members of the Latin Mass Society, all wearing their "SAVE THE TLM" tee-shirts; also, some of Uncle Arthur's best friends from Leeds: the LADHISS (Leeds and District Heavyweight Ice-Skating Society), and various vendors of cakes, puddings, and pies (now fallen on hard times since our hero left).

Luckily, one can also buy light snacks in Rome.

Some mischievous person switched all the books, so that Roche might have had to offer a TLM rather than a Novus Ordo Mass, but the great man was not phased out by this and managed to improvise a NO service.

Then, when it came to the part of the service where the cardinal said "With Francis our Pope and Me, your unworthy servant", a great cry of "YES!" went out from the congregation - which somehow failed to please Uncle Arthur.

Anyway, a good time was had by all, and the Leeds United fans who carried Uncle Arthur head-high from the cathedral and dumped him in the River Aire have been severely reprimanded.

An army marches on its stomach.