With apologies to A.A. Milne.
Rochie-the-Pooh, a bear of very little brain,
lived in the Hundred Acre Wood under the name of Arthur.
Living under the name of Arthur.
One day he was feeling very hungry, and he said to himself
"I think I'll go and see my little friend Austen Pigleteigh. Maybe he will have some
cake for me."
As he walked along the path, Pooh hummed to himself.
Now, please make no mistake,
A cardinal likes cake!
You think that I should diet?
Only an indietrist would try it!
"But what if little Piglet doesn't have any cake?" asked Pooh. "Should I go and see my friend the wise owl MASSIWOL instead?
No, he has taken up theology now, and he won't listen to me if I hint that it's time for a little something. Or rather,
a big something would be better..."
Massiwol reveals the true meaning of Vatican II to a fascinated Rochie-the-Pooh.
"Perhaps I should have gone to see Christo Ber Goglin,"
said Pooh. "
"He's not very busy today, just
doing an audience. Of course I could telephone him first and ask him if he has any cake - he won't mind being interrupted. No,
it had better be Piglet."
In the most depressing part of the forest, the WherePachaIs bog, lived Mike Eeyore, the donkey. Pooh's journey took him
past the wreck that Eeyore called home. "Hullo, Eeyore!" he said. "What a lovely morning for eating cake!"
"Is it a lovely morning?" replied Eeyore gloomily. "Nobody told me. Even Christo Ber Goglin, who is
knows everything, hasn't told me what I should think about the weather today. It's so depressing."
By now Pooh was getting very hungry, and he suddenly remembered that he still had a jar of honey
left in his own larder. Not as good as cake, but it would fill that little gap between 10 o'clock and 11 o'clock.
So he turned round and went home again.
Outside his house he found Austen Pigleteigh, who was jumping up and down trying to reach the knocker.
"A problem with your synod?" asked Pooh. "Is Grech the Rabbit still telling everyone what to do? Does Sister Nathalie Kanga want to take over the Hundred Acre Wood? Has Cardinal Tiggerich done something naughty again?" For Piglet had spent the last few years
playing games with some very wild people.
"No, no, NO!!" said Piglet. "I had a dream about a horrible hairy Heffalump! It spoke to me in Latin!
We must tell Christo Ber Goglin!"
"That's very important," said Pooh. "We must ban all Heffalumps from the Wood, so that we are no longer haunted by them.
But first... let's have some honey."
Brilliant
ReplyDeleteAs Pooh might say, ‘Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.’ Or perhaps, ‘I am short, fat, and proud of that'?
ReplyDeleteVery sad that NuChurch is suppressing Old Church. Why can't they live side by side in PEACE.?
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