Tuesday, 5 September 2023

Mongolians shocked as Genghis Khan praises Pope Francis

A surprise message received from the afterlife, which has been attributed to the late Genghis Khan, has shocked faithful Mongolians because it praises Pope Francis.

Genghis Khan

"Now he's really put his foot in it!"

"Some 'rigid' people have criticised the Holy Warlord for his policy of mass-murder and torture, but we never thought he would stoop so low as to praise a man who teaches heresy, gerrymanders synods, and persecutes people who want to follow traditional forms of worship," says sumo-wrestler Mai Cluis, who runs the popular Where Genghis Is website.

His little friend Osten Iveree, author of the warlord biographies "Genghis Khan, the great Reformer", "Wounded Wolfman" and "Let us massacre - the path to a better future", agrees. "Genghis should stick to what he knows best, and not try to endorse controversial figures simply to curry favour with people."

Finally, even Chams Mahteen, another compulsive writer, responsible for "Destroying a bridge with people on it", "Learning to Prey" and "Come forth and slaughter the Khwarezmid Empire", thinks Genghis Khan has gone too far. "He should keep out of Catholic politics and concentrate on LGBT issues," he says.

Ivan the terrible

Next week: "I think he's a terrible pope, too," admits Ivan.

6 comments:

  1. It took me a minute to get the Mai Cluis remark. It was all fun after that. Nice to hear from Ivan.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Great Khanate was in no need of any conversion, nor anything brought to them by such abstract ideologues as the mummified wanderer Christian Marco Polo.

    Go forth and baptise no nations in the name of the holy multiculti !!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't get it. Please explain. Also Chams Mahteen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are some clues in the Labels at the end.

      Delete
    2. Chams Mahteen is James Martin, S.J.

      Delete
  4. This is one of your best for a while, Eccles. Thanks for the chuckle. The Mai Cluis reference and the names of Chams' books were splutter coffee moments.

    ReplyDelete