The Pope needs some common cents!

Today we are celebrating the solemnity of St Peter and St Paul, and so this is also the time when the Pope gets out his begging bowl and asks us to donate Peter's Pence.

Times are hard!

To be fair, popes do have needs that the rest of us don't. When was the last time that YOU invested in Jesuitman, a pornographic film about Fr James Martin LGBTSJ Rocketman, a pornographic film about Elton John? When did YOU last try some dodgy property speculation? But these are activities that one only expects from the Holy Father.

It's Cardinal Dolan in Rockette-man!

So give generously. If Francis asks for pence, give him pence! Or if your natural currency is dollars or euros, then you can be sure that the pope is lacking in common cents! So help him to acquire some.

"But I don't give tuppence for the Pope's needs!"

Unfortunately at my church this morning there wasn't a great rush to shower the Vatican with gold and silver. In fact, poor old Ian, holding the bag for the retiring collection, was looking very glum, perhaps wondering why everyone seemed to be avoiding him.

Of course, if you don't want to upset Ian, there are acceptable things to put in the bag as alternatives to filthy lucre. Old buttons, maybe? A little envelope containing a pious message to Pope Francis (keep it clean, folks!)?

Or perhaps a P45?