Sunday, 18 October 2020

Pope Francis is saved

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"Well yes, I have been saved... but in my case it was such a close-run thing that I thought I had better keep quiet about it." S...
6 comments:
Friday, 16 October 2020

The Book of Covidicus, Chapter 8: Blood, Sweat and Tiers

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Continued from Chapter 7. 1. Then two prophets came unto Bosis, their names being Witty and Valiant. 2. And they spake out unto him, sayi...
1 comment:
Tuesday, 13 October 2020

When Francis met George

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We are lucky to have overheard some of the conversation between Cardinal Pell and Pope Francis on the occasion of the big man's recent v...
4 comments:
Sunday, 11 October 2020

Farrell goes up, Parolin goes down

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From the Secret Diary of Pope Francis, age 83¾. Today I decided to reward my friend Kevin Farrell by giving him a new job. He is already ...
4 comments:
Wednesday, 7 October 2020

Pope wins Nobel prize for Boredom

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It's the season for awarding Nobel prizes (Roger Penrose got one for his work on Black Holes Matter), and, as was widely expected, Pope ...
5 comments:
Friday, 2 October 2020

Amy is the wrong sort of Catholic

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So, RIP Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court, the one who ate broken bottles, killed rats with her teeth, wore ba...
8 comments:
Tuesday, 29 September 2020

Zen and the art of being a good pope

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Yes, this is another in our series "How to be a good pope," designed to provide useful advice to any of our readers who might sudd...
9 comments:
Saturday, 26 September 2020

Becciu gets the sack

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The phone rang. "Headmaster wants to see you, Eminence," said Gonzalo Aemilius, the Pope's personal secretary. "Better st...
8 comments:
Sunday, 20 September 2020

Death of a Saint

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Once in a while someone dies who is instantly recognised as a saintly being by our spiritual leaders. A few months ago it was George Floyd, ...
13 comments:
Saturday, 12 September 2020

The Book of Covidicus, Chapter 7: The rule of Six

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Continued from Chapter 6. 1. In the ninth month of the year, the plague continued to rage, or, more accurately, to be slightly peeved. 2...
1 comment:
Saturday, 5 September 2020

How to be a good pagan pope

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This is of course the latest instalment in our series "How to be a good pope", providing essential advice for anyone expecting to ...
8 comments:
Friday, 28 August 2020

It's Supernun!

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In a previous post we asked Sister Judy Piranha of the Nuns of Herod to explain why voting Democrat was the only reasonable possibility f...
6 comments:
Sunday, 23 August 2020

Pay nuns more so that they can make moral judgements!!??

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Today, a guest post from Sister Judy Piranha, of the Nuns for Herod, who led prayers at the Democrat National Convention . Coo-ee everyone...
4 comments:
Friday, 21 August 2020

The World Cup of Ugly Churches - nominations requested

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Time for another World Cup. We've done Bad hymns (Lord of the Dance), Bad cardinals (Cupich), Bad Catholic journalists (James Martin),...
33 comments:
Monday, 17 August 2020

Jim Wrong-un to address Democratic People's Convention

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As reported by North Korea , the North Korean Jesuit magazine (editor Jim Wrong-un), Father Jim Wrong-un SJ has been invited to address the...
5 comments:
Sunday, 16 August 2020

The Book of Covidicus, Chapter 6: How to avoid Qu'ran'tain

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Continued from Chapter 5. 1. After forty days and forty nights the people of BALM ceased to wage war on statues, and the children of Br...
3 comments:
Friday, 14 August 2020

Day of Judgement marks downgraded

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August 14th 2021 Religious leaders have complained that the results of the Day of Judgement are "a complete fiasco" and "un...
4 comments:
Thursday, 13 August 2020

How to be a Catholic

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Many readers have written to me, saying, "I'm just an ordinary sort of guy, who would quite like to be a priest/Pope/President of ...
5 comments: