Monday, 27 February 2012

De Pop uses Twitter

Now dat de Pop is gonna use Twitter, we has used de crytsal ball to see wot de future holds. I is puttin de older messages first.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
Well here I am on Twitter. I had been wondering for weeks what @stephenfry has for breakfast. Porridge, apparently.

Porridge

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@holysmoke Damian Thompson, you SchweineFerret, I have a better right to be called @holysmoke than you do! I'm warning you.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@stbosco Why have you sent me 200 messages telling me I am not saved? I am the Pope, of course I'm saved.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
I feel like saying something infallible today. Anyone got any good ideas?

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@vincentnichols No, no red hat until you start behaving properly. Ask @holysmoke to give you a list of the things you're doing wrong.

Where did you get that hat?

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@fatherarthur If I write a letter saying that you're a priest in good standing, will you stop badgering me?

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@molybdenite No, I really am the Pope, and not a sockpuppet. And stop calling me Woeful.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@stbosco No, I haven't tortured anyone for several weeks.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
This is quite addictive, isn't it? I seem to have missed an audience with @silvioberlusconi and his 25 lady friends. Mea culpa.

Silvio Berlusconi and friend

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@eccles Love the blog, Eccles. Anti Moly still giving you trouble, eh? Cardinal @avvelenatore suggests sleeping tablets in her gin.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@stbosco Yes, surprising as it may seem, I have read the Bible.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
Well, time to go. They're repeating 'Allo 'Allo on TV and it reminds me of old times. Doesn't Herr Flick remind you of @richarddawkins?

Richard Dawkins

at

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous27 February 2012 at 22:13

    Jadis says

    Be very careful about showing the last picture to Moly, in case she decides to dress up as Helga (complete with swastika suspenders) and pay Dawkins a visit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous28 February 2012 at 23:12

      Nasty Jaddis, you has put me off my dinner.

      Delete
  2. JabbaPapa28 February 2012 at 18:58

    Hey Eccles, has your fish hat costume holy man from Vatican microstate been able to twitter the theological difference between a clique and a claque ?

    I am asking on behalf of my tap-dancing friend, who worries that when he goes clique-claque-claque-cliquety-clique-claque onstage, he isn't committing some sort of original sin against the holy cement dove, that will send him dancing on his way like a grinning loon down into the Lake of Fire in his Red Shoes.

    Please advise !!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous28 February 2012 at 23:17

      I has fuond a website dat may contane de answer,

      http://www.clique-claque.com/Willkommen.html

      It's in German so maybe de Pop wrote it.

      Delete