This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 27 February 2012

De Pop uses Twitter

Now dat de Pop is gonna use Twitter, we has used de crytsal ball to see wot de future holds. I is puttin de older messages first.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
Well here I am on Twitter. I had been wondering for weeks what @stephenfry has for breakfast. Porridge, apparently.

Porridge

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@holysmoke Damian Thompson, you SchweineFerret, I have a better right to be called @holysmoke than you do! I'm warning you.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@stbosco Why have you sent me 200 messages telling me I am not saved? I am the Pope, of course I'm saved.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
I feel like saying something infallible today. Anyone got any good ideas?

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@vincentnichols No, no red hat until you start behaving properly. Ask @holysmoke to give you a list of the things you're doing wrong.

Where did you get that hat?

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@fatherarthur If I write a letter saying that you're a priest in good standing, will you stop badgering me?

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@molybdenite No, I really am the Pope, and not a sockpuppet. And stop calling me Woeful.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@stbosco No, I haven't tortured anyone for several weeks.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
This is quite addictive, isn't it? I seem to have missed an audience with @silvioberlusconi and his 25 lady friends. Mea culpa.

Silvio Berlusconi and friend

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@eccles Love the blog, Eccles. Anti Moly still giving you trouble, eh? Cardinal @avvelenatore suggests sleeping tablets in her gin.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
@stbosco Yes, surprising as it may seem, I have read the Bible.

Pope Benedict XVI @popebenedictxvi
Well, time to go. They're repeating 'Allo 'Allo on TV and it reminds me of old times. Doesn't Herr Flick remind you of @richarddawkins?

Richard Dawkins

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4 comments:

  1. Anonymous27 February 2012 at 22:13

    Jadis says

    Be very careful about showing the last picture to Moly, in case she decides to dress up as Helga (complete with swastika suspenders) and pay Dawkins a visit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous28 February 2012 at 23:12

      Nasty Jaddis, you has put me off my dinner.

      Delete
  2. JabbaPapa28 February 2012 at 18:58

    Hey Eccles, has your fish hat costume holy man from Vatican microstate been able to twitter the theological difference between a clique and a claque ?

    I am asking on behalf of my tap-dancing friend, who worries that when he goes clique-claque-claque-cliquety-clique-claque onstage, he isn't committing some sort of original sin against the holy cement dove, that will send him dancing on his way like a grinning loon down into the Lake of Fire in his Red Shoes.

    Please advise !!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous28 February 2012 at 23:17

      I has fuond a website dat may contane de answer,

      http://www.clique-claque.com/Willkommen.html

      It's in German so maybe de Pop wrote it.

      Delete

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