Tuesday, 26 June 2012

The Bishop's Letter

Uncle Arthur

Your bishop

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

As you know the Pope has asked me to become the Secretary of the Congregation of Divine Worship and Discipline of the Sacraments in Rome (or Vice-Pope for short), and it is with great reluctance that I am leaving the good people of Leeds for pastures new, when my work is still undone.

Vatican of the North

The Vatican of the North

The Holy Father was concerned that I might find the Vatican a little claustrophobic, after the magnificence of Hinsley Hall, but I told him that we should all be prepared to make sacrifices in order to serve God to the best of our abilities.

My successor as Bishop of Leeds has not yet been appointed, but I shall bequeath to him my collection of padlocks, guaranteed to fit church doors of any size, so that he may continue to close churches in the diocese on a regular basis.

Locksmith

Encouraging local industry in Allerton Bywater

In a spirit of Christian Charity I shall ignore one caustic remark made by Damian Thompson, namely "I hope Gammarelli has stocked up on XXXL archiepiscopal rig..." Although I am no longer the slim and athletic ice-skater that I used to be, my enemies will find that I can still be very slippery on occasion.

Arthur Roche

A problem in the 2012 CBCEW Ice-Skating Championships

By the way, I still have 5,000 copies of my most recent video nasty, "The Leeds diocese - what can we close next?" in case anyone would like one.

Goodbye, Bishop

Saying farewell to the Bishop

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13 comments:

  1. Jessica Hoff26 June 2012 at 17:10

    Why is he wearing a rainbow halo which has slipped? We should be told.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous26 June 2012 at 17:21

      Dat's his famuos "beanie" hat, Jesicca. I dunno why he was wearin it.

      Delete
    2. Jessica Hoff26 June 2012 at 21:57

      Perhaps he took 'shine Jesus shine' literally? That or it is his Alice-band - I had ineclikrvthstcwhen I was 5.

      Delete
    3. Jessica Hoff26 June 2012 at 21:58

      Predictive text! Should have read I had one like it when I was 5 - and hated it.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous26 June 2012 at 23:07

      Well, your spellin is certianly gettin better wiv dat productive text.

      Delete
  2. Jessica Hoff27 June 2012 at 06:56

    The Orthodox Churches, both Eastern and Oriental have said that Vassula Ryden's so-called visions should be given no credence - shocked that a Catholic bishop allows this - but perhaps not that this one has.

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  3. jadis27 June 2012 at 13:23

    http://www.visit4ads.com/advert/Stella-Artois-Ice-Skating-Priests-Stella-Artois/22733

    Can't get link to work

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous27 June 2012 at 14:48

      Try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciVWoaqvhlE

      Wasn't it on Damain's blogg once?

      Delete
    2. jadis27 June 2012 at 17:47

      All human life is there. And Fabian Delusions.

      Delete
  4. Leeds Priest26 November 2012 at 11:36

    We all hope he takes his henchman Mgr McQuieeen with him - preferably in his luggage!

    Vile creatures!

    PS Abberton is a well know loony, but he gets left alone because he's not orthodox. In the land of Unkel Arfer heterodoxy rules.

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    Replies
    1. Paul Hellyer25 February 2014 at 18:54

      I heard recently (Nov 2013) that Arthur had an expensive oil painting of himself put up in Hinsley Hall. Not satisfied with that he then commissioned another painting of himself to be put up in his house. All this while the Diocese is millions in debt. Pure vanity and or narcissism. Such is the quality of our clergy brought up on fish and chips.

      Delete
    2. Paul Hellyer25 February 2014 at 18:55

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  5. pjotr31 May 2021 at 06:55

    If the Orthodox Church has excommunicated Vassula Ryden - which she herself denies - it would be an assurance of the authenticity of her revelations.

    ReplyDelete