Friday, 22 July 2016

Welcome to World Oldie Day

As a special concession to Catholics who have passed the age of 30 and thus no longer feel that they count as "yoof", Pope Francis has agreed to institute a World Oldie Day. Since Kraków, the site of World Youth Day, is obviously too exciting a place, it has been agreed to hold the event in Eastbourne, where the population's average age is already over 70.

Listening attentively to Pope Francis.

Said one oldie, Fred Methuselah, 95, "I no longer feel able to enjoy the benefits of World Youth Day, including standing in a muddy field in the pouring rain with a large crowd, participating in special liturgical abuses such as obtaining my Communion from a vending machine, or even taking part in mysterious Jesuit events called "Ignatian experiments"; the W.O.D. is far more to my taste."

Ignatian Experiments.

For many bishops, attending World Youth Day is something of a nightmare, although many of them nobly turn up in order to support the young folk. "We're being very ecumenical in Kraków this year," commented one bishop who was putting a brave face on things. "They've got that young chap, Cliff Richard, doing a gig. This is what really appeals to the youth of today."

Bishops Dancing at WYD in Rio.

"Still," he continued, "it is embarrassing for someone in their 70s to be cavorting around like a teenager. I've been told that the WOD in Eastbourne will have none of that, merely an evening of liturgical ballroom dancing at the Kieran Conry Dance Hall, for those who really want it. Or there's Catholic Bingo: Laudato Si', 23! Letter from Joseph Shaw, 44! We're all off to Heaven, 67!"

Said one deacon, "One tradition that we're keeping is that of getting a flashmob of people dressed as nuns to do wild dances. We don't expect the over-80s to take part in this (except perhaps for the ever-youthful Cardinal Cormac), but some of us in our 40s and 50s can still 'groove it', as the saying goes."

Some of these could be mistaken for real nuns!

If you can't make it to WYD, then do join us at WOD! You can book through Saga Holidays.

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8 comments:

  1. pattif22 July 2016 at 11:13

    For years I've campaigned for a World Middle-Aged Day but, now that I'm nearly too old for that, this looks just the ticket. Especially as it's Eastbourne....

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  2. Ray Sunshine22 July 2016 at 15:34

    Good news, Bruvver! We’re still in time to book our places for this year’s sensationally thrilling and tantalizingly vibrant Ignatian Experiments. The last page of the PDF file tells us that the deadline is:

    • June 31, 2015 – deadline for final confirmation about preparing the IE

    June 31, 2015 has not yet arrived, so let’s make the most of this unique opportunity!

    http://magis2016.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/IE_letterEN.pdf

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    Replies
    1. comfyteor22 July 2016 at 22:27

      Some confusion arises from the fact that the Vatican is about to adopt the muslim calendar for ecumenical reasons.

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    2. Anonymous23 July 2016 at 20:37

      Indeed, Brian. Plus, their deadline for online applications is "31 April". Some kind of weird Jesuitical leap year?

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  3. Elizabeth H.23 July 2016 at 08:20

    I went to WYD in 1997 in Paris. Among other things we visited the relic of the true cross, the relics of St Therese and met very many inspiring young Catholics. No liturgical abuses. Just the good stuff.

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  4. Anonymous24 July 2016 at 10:40

    As an Oldie from Krakow (nearly 60-y)... just to say I've fallen in love with your idea of "a World Oldie Day in Eastbourne"! Especally so as my old town Krakow seems to be so overcroweded with 16..., 20...teens foreigners...in the heatwave of 30C(ish). I even more so long for that Eastbourne O D!!! So far can only escape to nearby vilage...

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  5. Nancy Reyes30 July 2016 at 02:11

    Ha.

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  6. Cressida de Nova1 August 2016 at 04:25

    I think it would nice to have a CP2V2 Day(Catholicism Prior to V2 Day) It would be interesting to see the numbers and one would have to be prepared for the notable lack of clergy present.Should draw a nice crowd though.Probably not even essential to have security guards and weapons check at the Church door.

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