The Book of Numbskulls 1 - the fall of Bosis

Continued from here.

1. In my earlier writings, O Theophilus, namely the books of Brexodus and Covidicus, I told the story of how Bosis led the children of Bri-tain out of the land of EU-gypt, and how they were hit by a great plague.

2. Now I must tell the tragical history of the downfall of Bosis and his replacement by his servant Trusshua.

On the way out...

3. For by the seventh month, Bosis had lost favour with the people.

4. First, because of his love of cake. For he had held a great feast, at which there appeared on the wall, written in letters of fire, the words MENE PEPEL ARUN HARPE, which is to say "The people of the Beeby Sea have found thee wanting and wish thee to go."

5. Second, there was a man named Pincher, who was accused of pinching two men.

6. But Bosis refused to believe in his iniquity, defending Pincher by saying, "Doth Raab rob? Doth Mogg mug? Is Eustice useless? Well, perhaps yes in this last case, but I cannot believe that Pincher doth pinch."

7. But the end was in sight, for Sajidiah, the bringer of health, and Rishi the Sunakite, the bringer of wealth (or not), now resigned from their offices, followed by many other ministers.

8. And even the aged patriarch, John of Magdala, who had led the Conservatites thirty years earlier, spake from his tomb, saying "It is time for the 1922 B.C. committee to intervene, they that wear grey suits and dwell in smoke-filled rooms."

The spectre of the late John of Magdala.

9. So Bosis admitted that the game was up and a new leader was needed. Besides, he had led the people out of EUgypt (except perhaps for the Irish of the North), reduced their footprints of carbon, and brought prosperity to all. Or so he said.

10. Then there came forth eight brave heroes, all willing to lead the children of Bri-tain into a glorious future.

11. But soon the candidates disappeared one by one, as in the fabled book of Anima Christi, known as "Ten little Tories", which was known throughout the land of Bri-tain.

12. So that only Trusshua and Rishi the Sunakite remained.

The race for power.

13. Now the people of the Western Minster preferred Rishi, but the Law of Profits told them that they must consult the humble Conservatites who dwelt among the grass roots.

14. And the lot fell upon Trusshua, and what a lot it would be, as I shall relate next.

Continued in Chapter 2.