The 2022 Catholic Advent Calendar

In the end, this is what I saw after opening all the little windows.

For the record, this is what was revealed:

1. We start off in party mood with Cardinal Coccopalmerio.

2. We see the return of another great religious figure (complete with a new hairstyle). Blair.

3. Jolly old Uncle Wilt is here to celebrate a TLM with you. Or not.

4. Now, Advent is traditionally the season for synods, and we ask "Who is missing?" Are YOU doing enough to change the teaching of the Catholic church?

5. Out pops one of the greatest theologians of our age - or, indeed, any age - Mike Lewis of the "Where Pacha Is" blog.

6. Music is an important part of worship, and the vuvuzela won a recent Twitter poll on the subject. Enjoy!

7. A real heavyweight today - Cardinal "Rhino" Marx enjoying the LGBT surroundings.

8. Devout Catholic Nancy Pelosi heads into retirement, vowing to spend her declining years in performing good deeds.

9. Ooh look, it's Tommy Reese, the very model of a modern liberal Jesuit.

10. It's Cardinal Maradiaga. In a world of financial and sexual scandals, here is someone we can really believe in.

11. This new cardinal, Robert McElroy, is described as a "kindred spirit of Pope Francis". Need we say more?

12. A spiritually nourishing picture of a drunken man surrounded by custard pies (World meeting of families). By Father Marko Ivan Rupnik SJ, who is in a spot of bother right now.

13. Unlucky 13. We begin the second half with Bishop Gustavo Óscar Zanchetta. Pope Francis has backed him all the way, so it's rather unfortunate that Z's been sentenced to 4 1/2 years in prison.

14. No prizes for recognising Devout Catholic Joe Biden, seen here doing his Mussolini impersonation. In his spare time Joe tells me he is President of the Thing c'mon, you know man. His views on marriage and infanticide are truly fascinating.

15. Cardinal Becciu (my financial adviser) says he could have been pope if only the newspapers would stop writing about him. Better luck next time, Angelo!

16. We haven't had a distinguished theologian yet - unless you count December 5th - so here is Massimo Faggioli ("Max Beans" to his friends), a modern Aquinas, winner of the "Top Theologian named after a vegetable" prize for 10 years running.

17. Cardinal Farrell, a friend of the famous McCarrick, is Camerlengo of the Church. I was wondering who Pope Francis had told him to appoint as his successor, but he hasn't told us yet. Probably one of the people on this calendar...

18. We all love genial Archbishop Paglia. Vincenzo ("Paggles" to his friends) has brought a new mission to the Pontifical Academy of Life, commissioned a homoerotic mural in which he features, and is a supporter of charitable donations.

19. Although he is now almost entirely forgotten, the devout Boris Johnson was the first Catholic prime minister of the UK. In 2019-2022 the country went through a golden age in which Christian doctrine dominated public life. Possibly.

20. Blase Cupich, winner of a recent world cup of cardinals. Universally loved.

21. We welcome Austen Ivereigh, author of "Pope Francis, the great Redeemer" etc. and now an "expert" charged with writing up all the moans and grumbles from contributors to the Synod on Synod on Synods. Whoopee!

22. Father James "Jimbo" Martin LGBTSJ. Known for his, er, imaginative Catholic teaching, and for bringing "gay" and "trans" issues into as many debates as possible.

23. At this time of year we wait for the fat man in red in whom nobody really believes. "Santa" Roche knows whether you've been bad (TLMs) or good (NO masses)!

24. We open the last window on the Catholic Advent Calendar to reveal a symbol of happiness and joy.

A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all readers!