Tuesday, 29 December 2020

How to revive a dead Apostolic Exhortation

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This is the latest instalment in our series "How to be a good pope", intended mainly for those who one day expect to be sleeping w...
3 comments:
Sunday, 27 December 2020

Christians are white supremacists

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We are truly grateful to one Jen Bokoff for reminding us that "Merry Christmas" is a white supremacy slogan, and a sign to the wor...
5 comments:
Thursday, 24 December 2020

The 2020 Advent Calendar

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This year's Advent calendar shows us all that is best in contemporary catholicism: A great year for Biden and AOC, generally regarded...
1 comment:
Wednesday, 23 December 2020

Austen Ivereigh not expected to resign

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One of the closest confidants of Austen Ivereigh, the celebrated Catholic journalist, has denied rumours that the great man is about to resi...
1 comment:

Covidicus, Chapter 11 meets Brexodus, Chapter 22

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Translator's note: Sometimes we find that two distinct chapters of the Bible are identical: for example, 2 Kings 19 and Isaiah 37 ...
1 comment:
Monday, 21 December 2020

Hark! The Herald's writers sing

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A little Christmas carol to commemorate the Catholic Herald 's cutting its ties with Mary Kenny, Fr John Zuhlsdorf and Fr Dominic Allain...
3 comments:
Sunday, 20 December 2020

Mary, did you know?

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Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would one day walk on water? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would save our sons and daughters?...
1 comment:
Friday, 11 December 2020

Vatican explains its Christmas Nativity Scene

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December 11th 2021. After the 2020 fiasco, in which their Christmas Nativity Scene featured Fisher-Price toys, a spaceman, and a statue of...
12 comments:
Wednesday, 9 December 2020

Eccles on the norty step

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Unfortunately, Rasputin and his Twitter servants didn't recognise a quotation from the song Star Trekkin' . Click to enlarge. T...
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How to translate the Mass

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The story so far: at the time of Vatican II, it was decided to rush out translations of the Mass into the vernacular. Not the true vernacul...
6 comments:
Saturday, 5 December 2020

The Book of Covidicus, Chapter 10: tiers, idle tiers

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Continued from Chapter 9 1. After one month, Bo-sis released the children of Bri-tain from their lockdown. 2. But the plague continued to...

Pope decides to Build Back Better

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We thought at first it was simply a tweet from whoever manages Pope Francis's Twitter account (believed to be a teenager on work experie...
4 comments:
Wednesday, 11 November 2020

Uncle Ted's Cabin - how it was all Viganò's fault

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There was universal rejoicing in the Catholic Church this week when the long-awaited McCarrick report was finally published. The investigato...
12 comments:
Friday, 6 November 2020

Did Bergoglio steal the election?

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Supporters of Cardinal Scola are encouraging him to take legal action over the 2013 Conclave. This resulted in the election of Cardinal Berg...
5 comments:
Thursday, 5 November 2020

The Book of Covidicus, Chapter 9: the closing of the temples

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Continued from Chapter 8. 1. It came to pass that the children of Bri-tain fell sick once more. 2. Indeed, the models of Neil, so...
4 comments:
Monday, 2 November 2020

Battle of Armageddon expected to be close

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Tuesday's battle in the United States of Armageddia is expected to be a close-run thing. St John's predictions in the book of Revela...
4 comments:
Saturday, 31 October 2020

Learning to Prey - a guide for everyone

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Already they're calling the Book of the Century - Fr James "Jimbo" Martin LGBTQSJ has another blockbuster in press. You can te...
4 comments:
Friday, 30 October 2020

Eight bad churches... and two very bad cardinals

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We're reached the quarter-finals of the World Cup of Ugly Churches - where "ugly" can be interpreted loosely as "I wish I...
9 comments: