Thursday, 28 November 2019

ASK FATHER: I utterly reject the Church so how can I remain Pope?

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From a reader (J.B.): QUAERITUR: The Catholic Church is really getting me down. There are so many people who spurn my new initiatives (ab...
5 comments:
Wednesday, 27 November 2019

"Possession of giant killer bees is sinful," says Pope

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Following Pope Francis's comments that the possession of nuclear missiles is sinful, Catholics have rushed to destroy any that they migh...
2 comments:
Saturday, 23 November 2019

Justin Welby explains buffer zones

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"Hi! I'm Justin, Archbishop of Canterbury, and the rightful heir of St Peter (we try not to mention Henry VIII). I've been aske...
5 comments:
Tuesday, 19 November 2019

Chick-fil-A starts donating to the Catholic Church

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Following pressure from LGBT activists, who have forced their first ever British restaurant (in Reading) to close, Chick-fil-A have surrend...
5 comments:
Saturday, 16 November 2019

New eco-friendly catechism

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Plastic 92357 Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents the use of plastic as an act of grave depravity, tradition has alw...
7 comments:
Friday, 15 November 2019

Fr James Martin explains the Bible

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Followers of Fr James Martin LGBTSJ have long admired his interpretations of the Bible ("Mary Magdalene was the Church", "Jes...
6 comments:
Saturday, 9 November 2019

Ten years on - Pope Cupich on Inculturation

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Inculturation: A two-way street November 9th, 2029 As all Catholics will know, following the conclave in which I was elected Pope, and...
1 comment:
Thursday, 7 November 2019

The toxic tradition of the Latin Mass

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An edited version of a National Catholic Reporter piece by Zita Ballinger Fletcher. One culture within the Catholic Church needing majo...
25 comments:
Wednesday, 30 October 2019

Welcome to Pagan Voices!

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My dear friend Austen Ivereigh and I have decided to start a new organization, Pagan Voices. The object of our team will be to improve the P...
12 comments:
Tuesday, 29 October 2019

Joe Bidet is denied Communion

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It is reported that Senator Joe Bidet, best known to British readers as the man who was so desperate that he plagiarised the speeches of Nei...
2 comments:
Monday, 28 October 2019

What ho, James!

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With apologies to P.G. Wodehouse. Regular readers of these chronicles will know that six years ago, my Uncle Cormac, tired of seeing me lo...
4 comments:
Saturday, 26 October 2019

Sherlock Holmes and the Pachamama affair

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I have described elsewhere how my friend Sherlock Holmes had on an earlier occasion been consulted by the Holy Father in order to track...
12 comments:
Saturday, 19 October 2019

Mordor Synod going well so far

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After two weeks of the long-awaited Mordor Synod, Pope Saruman ("the man in white") has declared himself "very happy" wi...
9 comments:
Monday, 14 October 2019

Giving advice to St John Henry Newman

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A revised version of an old post, to celebrate the canonization of JHN. As a change from " Bad hymns ," we like to invite in so...
3 comments:
Saturday, 12 October 2019

Newman was my kind of Catholic

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A guest contribution from Christopher Lambchop of the Tablet. There is little doubt that celebrity saint John Henry Newman would have been ...
5 comments:
Thursday, 10 October 2019

How to be an atheist pope

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Many of the articles on this blog have given advice on "How to be a good pope", but one or two of my readers (i.e., about half of ...
15 comments:
Tuesday, 8 October 2019

Amazonian pagans complain about the synod

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Although Catholics as a whole have been very supportive of the Amazon synod, which started this week (where have you been, Eccles?) some di...
3 comments: