Leviticus

This is Chapter 3 in the Eccles Bible project, explaining the Bible in simple terms to an atheist called Richard who is a bit of a beginner at theology. We have seen Genesis and Exodus, and now we need to work out what Leviticus is all about.

It is forbidden to eat vultures, even tinned ones (Leviticus 11:14).

Now, unlike the previous two chapters, which were full of jolly stories about ancient people, with a fair amount of smiting and some miracles too, Leviticus gets us into a bit of a rut. The basic plot is that God gives a lot of instructions to Moses and Aaron about rituals, the priesthood, sacrifices, etc. and Moses and Aaron carry them out.

Now pay attention, Richard. The book is called Leviticus, and refers to the Levites, the tribe from which the priests were drawn. This should give you a clue that most of the rules and regulations written down were not intended for modern Christians to follow - but wait until Christ turns up, and we'll explain this more carefully.

Wel-by, of the tribe of Levi, enjoys a nice ritual.

Some of the advice given is relevant today. For example, Chapters 13 and 14 have some fascinating stuff about how to diagnose leprosy, and what to do if you come across such a case. So you see, these "bronze age goatherds" could easily have got jobs in a modern hospital, and some could even have written books about shellfish genes (which they did not eat, according to Leviticus 11:9-12).

Around Chapter 17 we start to get some moral instruction, and of course this is the bit that so many secular-minded people object to. "Why can't I uncover the nakedness of my father’s sister if I want to?" they ask.

My own (great-)aunt Moly, with a good reason not to try and uncover her nakedness.

We should not forget Leviticus 18:22 (about lying with people of the same sex), because that does tend to upset some people. Although in the New Testament it is made clear that dietary restrictions no longer apply, and you can now eat as many vultures as you want to, it is also made clear that the same-sex prohibition - always far more serious than accidentally eating a vulture lasagne that you thought was beef - still stands.

Actually, Leviticus is at the forefront of equal rights, in many ways. "Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumbling block before the blind" (Lev. 19:14) is advice that few would argue with.

Someone round here hasn't been reading Leviticus.

Well, Leviticus was the basis of the Jewish law for many years, but there is a very good reason why it is hardly ever read from in a Christian church service - for us it is mostly of historical interest. Animal sacrifices are no longer expected: we have something far better.

After the service there are coffee and vulture sandwiches in the Sistine Chapel. Trust me, it's OK.

So next week we'll be looking at the book of Numbers, when the Israelites are on the move again...

Bird watchin

My Anti Moly, who is a keen reader of dis blogg, said to me, "Eccles, dear, why doesnt you tell your faithfull public about me bein a keen birdwatcher, wot can tell a koot from a cookaburrer even when I has been drinkin? I fink it will stop dem from mockin me all de time. I is a twitcher, you know."

"I has notticed," I repplied. "Maybe you should lay off de gin a bit, Anti?"

She hit me wiv a fryin pan at dat point, I fink she been watchin too many Tom and Jerry cartons. So I went off to look at some old phottos dat Anti Moly has kept.

Dat's a photto of my dere Ant as a young girl in de 1930s (she's de one on de right), starin at a bird and sayin confiddently, "Um, dat's a rare speceis of albbatross, but dem traddy Cathlics likes to prettend dat it aint." Dat's in de days before Goggle and Wikkipedia, so she cuoldn't be omnicsient, like she is now. But even in dem days she had a wide knowlegde of our fevvered freinds.

Here is anuvver photto of my Anti as a young girl, watchin a bird. She says it may be a very big duck.

De bird watchin habit she got explanes de followin photto, which she has by de side of her bed for senttimental reasons.

She tells me dat it is Cradinal Pell, as a yuong man, trying to win Moly's affectoin by gettin her a Norwegain Blue parrott as a birfday present. I fink de parrott must have died.

I asked my Anti Moly wot was her favuorite bird, and she said, "Dey all tastes nice if you cooks em properly. When I was yuong my Mom used to give us stewed doddos, but den dey became extinct so we had to stop eatin em." She did confess a waekness for vulltures, cos dey picks over de remanes of corpses. Dat's a bit like what Anti Moly does when she comes to Damain Thopmson's blog and she replies to debates when everryone else went home six months ago.

Of course when I asked Bosco wot his favuorite bird was, he explaned dat to be saved you has to worhsip cemment doves like we does at de Calumny Chappell.

Dat's my dere bruvver Bosco wiv what he says is a real dove. But Anti Moly, de expert orthinologist, is sure dat it's a barn owl, so I dunno what to fink. Has Bosco and me been kissin cemment owls by mistake? If so, can we still be saved?