Ooh, Laa Laa! Four dangerous criminals defy the ban.
In fact, it is common on the French Riviera for women to sunbathe topless, although this is not yet compulsory. We should recall that the ideals of the revolution on which the secular state of France is founded were Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, and Nudité: the whole point of taking a guillotine and chopping off people's heads was to encourage the last of these.
Sorry: Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, Nudité, and Obésité.
Said another member of the Corps de Plage, Commissaire Jules Maigret, as he puffed contentedly on his pipe. "Make no mistake, we'll be coming for other people who shamelessly wear head-dress on the beach. This is far easier than trying to stop terrorists killing people. Now excuse me, I haven't been to the bar for over 20 minutes."
Two religious fanatics who will be arrested if they set foot on dry land.
President François Hollande has promised to recall the French Foreign Legion to the shores of the Mediterranean if the problem of overdressed swimmers is not quickly resolved. The transition from the trackless sands of the desert to the rather crowded sands of Nice should pose no problems for Beau Pipe and his elite squad.
"Get 'em off!" Clouseau and Maigret go into action.
De Inspectator (or po-po) iz only jellous becuase, if he must shew his « corpse de plage », evreyon must. Yuo knew, socitey's strandads. (Whitch iz also why I guest Beau Pipe iz a "his" and sheeps is gatehred in a "sqaud".) And whit all de teroristme out tehre, indeed, one must taek a « beau » peep at thier surruondings. Leik me, but I promies nut to stear at anoyne's tinky-winky wehn I am dipsy.
ReplyDeleteLieutenant Beau Pipe has lost his jeep
ReplyDeleteSo now he rides a bike.
He’s back in France where they look askance
At clothing they don’t like.
He spends all day in Saint Tropez
Cycling along the road
While scanning the sand for anything banned
Under the beachwear code.
Filthee
DeleteEngleesh
Beest
But … but … but … I thought you were a poetry lover, Cressida. A lady of such discerning taste as yourself!
Delete
Deletemy english uncle called brine
moved to france for the women and wine
he went swimming at the pool
in knitted trunks - what a fool
so l'inspecteur gave him a fine
France is strict when it comes to swimwear for both sexes. Men are not allowed to wear those English knitted * (by their Aunties)belted loose trunks or boxer shorts when swimming. They must wear speedos (budgie smugglers). It is for health and safety reasons(French Ones)
ReplyDeleteIt is a disguise
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-12103555
Being arrested for modesty...well, St Paul did warn us.
ReplyDeleteIt is compulsory to follow the totalitarian orders and dress immodestly. Take off those unprescribed clothes and bow to your atheistic dictators.
ReplyDelete