This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday, 21 May 2019

A Protestant asks for some wine

Following the recent incident in which a customer of Hawksmoor Manchester was accidentally served a bottle of Château le Pin Pomerol 2001 (priced at £4,500) rather than the cheaper (£260) wine they had ordered, we have news of an even greater surprise.

Hawksmoor tweet

Mr Luther Tudor, a devout "Easter worshipper", accidentally wandered into a Catholic church for Mass, rather than the Protestant Eucharist that he was expecting. After receiving Communion he was startled to be told that he had actually received the Precious Blood of Christ (beyond price), rather than the Plonque de Welby (£2.99 a bottle) that he had expected to drink.

"I know that the Rev. Doris always says something like 'The Blood of Christ' when we go for our Lord's Supper," explained Mr Tudor, "but we accept that this is just a metaphorical thing, like most of Jesus's teaching."

Mr Tudor was asked why he did not guess that he was in a Catholic Church when he heard the prayer for Pope Francis. He explained that, since this was followed with general sighs and face-palming, he had naturally assumed that he was in an extreme Protestant church, possibly Presbyterian.

Pope Franic and Justin Welby

"That's funny: nobody likes me, either."


  1. I don't feel well. I can't believe that people pay that much for the cheap wine.I have lived in places where that amount would keep a family for a year.There is something terribly wrong with our world when this inequality exists...I mean apart from the mickey mouse impressions given by Rev. Doris and the pantomime purple pastiche.

  2. I am perfectly fine with inequality, I am not fine with injustice.
    The fact that we started using them interchangeably is a symptom of the amount of propaganda we have been fed. Equality is fine for immaterial things, rights, love, possibilities, responsibility. For material things, equality is a last resort measure for those unable or unwilling to act in a just way.