Ireland as it will look: empty.
Archbishop Diarmuid Martin of Dublin has already given his backing to this mass suicide pact, explaining that "It is surely God's will to return Ireland to the state it was in when He created it - empty. Or, if it wasn't, don't expect me to speak out until after we've all been killed!"
The actual mechanism of the mass extermination of the Irish people is still to be decided. Historically, potato famines were very popular, but nowadays the only consequence of a potato famine would be that the Irish would no longer have to put up with that arch-bore Gary Lineker advertising his unhealthy snacks. Still, that alone makes this seem like a good idea.
Enough to make you yearn for another potato famine.
Clearly some more systematic way for the Irish to destroy themselves is required. Prime Minister Varadkar has organized a survey asking people which groups they would like to see exterminated first, and the following sections of the population were particularly disliked:
children, adults, the young, the old, the middle-aged, the religious, the non-religious, the whites, the blacks, the other races, tinkers, tailors, soldiers, sailors, rich men, poor men, beggarmen, thieves, fathers, mothers, males, females, people of undecided or indescribable sex/gender, tourists, local residents, hairy people, bald people, heterosexuals, homosexuals, anything else-sexuals, people called "Martin", people not called "Martin", the employed, the unemployed, the sick, the healthy, ...
For each of these groups it is possible to find someone who dislikes them, so into the suicide booths they go!
Ah yes, the suicide booths. Well they will look like this:
New-look suicide booth (no longer required for its original purpose).
There have already been some comments from devoutly religious British politicians on the MIDA ("Make Ireland Dead Again") plan. Theresa May thinks it's a wonderful idea, but Jacob Rees-Mogg doesn't. Still, if MIDA is a success, then the United Kingdom is certain to follow suit.
Administrative note: for the last 5 days I have not received e-mail notifications about comments posted on this luvvly blogg. So I have only just realised there was a backlog. Sorry.