David Cameron and Barack Obama exchange cooking tips.
"Of course we shall engage in a full consultation," explained the Prime Minister, "before ignoring its results and going ahead with this policy. In an age of equality and diversity, we feel that the cannibal community should be granted full dietary rights."
Already condemnation has come in from the more traditionalist church leaders, who claim that the new legislation would offend what they quaintly call their "moral principles." This has not gone down well with liberal organizations, such as the cannibal rights organization Bonemaul, which recently awarded its "Bigot of the year" award to Archbishop Keith O'Brien.
Giles Fraser - received a special award from Bonemaul.
Other church leaders were quick - well, slow, actually - to follow suit, and eventually even Vincent Nichols was forced to take notice. The Westminster diocese has long had a tradition of holding special masses for cannibals, and it is thought that the Nuncio is unhappy with this.
Learning that churches would be forbidden from serving meat sourced from homo sapiens, we are awaiting a statement from Giles Fraser, the socialist who appears on Thought for the Day whenever the BBC needs someone to discredit Christianity; it is hoped by many that he will be prepared to go to prison on the issue of equal rights for cannibals.
Could this be Giles Fraser's next parish?
Meanwhile, the Conservative party has not received the boost in popularity that it expected when it announced its plans for cannibalism. David Cameron himself has long been a champion of "family values" and he is said to be very surprised that this new legislation should be regarded as an attack on the integrity of the family.
Fr Swift - an inspiration to modern liberal thinkers.
Love it!
ReplyDeletePlease don't go putting ideas into Cameron's head. You know what ideas do to him.
ReplyDelete(So that's where I've seen Giles Fraser before! He doesn't change, does he?)
People who eat children are still saved cos Luther said faith alone saves.
ReplyDeleteHitler and Mussolini are saved because the catholic church says so. They were both baptized as infants into the catholic cult. Catholic church says water baptism makes you born again. It also says only catholics go to heaven. Oh yes, recently they have back peddled on that one.Putting on sheeps clothing, the church that changes not.Catholics dont care. Whatever the seat of satan(rome) says is fine with them
DeleteUllo bruvver Bosco, is you baptized? I remember Mom frowing you into a ditch when you was little, but dat might not be de same fing.
DeleteIs Jamie Oliver doing sum luvverly resippies, eccles? xx Jess
ReplyDeleteJamie Oliver doing recipes. Is this for the cannibals or the homosexuals? The latter might enjoy turd in the hole, or the obvious thing au vin.
DeleteUm keep it cleen, pleease, Jos, as dis is a blogg for saved pussons.
DeleteTerribly right ring to forbid the eating the meat of homosapiens. I guess eating the meat of homosexuals is also out, although i've heard it said in straight laced traditionalist circles that homosexuals are gluttons for all sorts punishment.
ReplyDelete