Fr Rosica - tipped to be the next James Bond as he tackles the evil BLOGGER.
"I was reading a blog called the Gospel of St Matthew," explained Fr Rosica, "and there was this most unpleasant contributor called John the Baptist. He was writing things like You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?, which you will agree turns the Bible into a cesspool of hatred!"
"There's another Person there, who says things like Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. That sounds like a direct attack on my Salt and Vinegar media empire!"
The Salt and Vinegar media Empire expands into corporal nourishment.
"Apart from the infamous St Matthew site, and the related Mark, Luke and John blogs, I also wish to mention a blogger called Paul," continued the salty cleric. "He has written a series of blog posts, called `Epistles', that show him up as an obsessed, scrupulous, self-appointed, nostalgia-hankering virtual guardian of faith and liturgical practices! (Yes, I admit it, Pope Francis lent me his thesaurus, so that I could dig out more insults for ordinary Catholics...)"
"There's a particularly nasty blog called '1 Corinthians', where he lists people who will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners. I shall advise my friends to respond in the most Christian way possible, by consulting their solicitors!"
"Nor liberal Catholics, nor Tablet-readers, nor Jesuits, nor Professors at Roehampton, ..."
No wonder the good Father Rosica is cross...
Great post.
ReplyDeleteWe are 'on the margins' here so we can be sure that Fr. Rosica will wish to accompany us on 'our journey'. Or perhaps, if fighting heresy is too combative, we could join the 'religion of peace' and really become his chums. At least his non-Catholic friends reading all these traditional blogs are learning something about authentic Catholicism.
ReplyDeleteThat Baptist and his blog, he's such a "Taliban Catholic."
ReplyDeleteI have sinned. I have read this blog and been consumed by mirth, when plainly I ought to have been dousing myself in vinegar and all things beginning with V... Vosene, vodka, Vimto... If I collect a great stash of salt and vinegar crisp packets (any brand, but Golden Blunder count as two)can I redeem them at confession against the penance?
ReplyDeleteNo Jesuits?
ReplyDeleteIt was only a month or so ago that an Anglican vicar in Devonshire used the same adjective “vitriolic” to describe people who disagreed with him when he said there was nothing anti-Semitic in Naz Shah’s proposal to ethnically cleanse the State of Israel, “relocating” all Jews out of the Middle East (link below).
ReplyDeleteSo the question is this: Is Eccles’s Catholic friend Thomas Rosica following in the “vitriolic” footsteps of an Anglican vicar, or is it the other way round? I think we should be told.
http://archbishopcranmer.com/c-of-e-priest-says-labours-anti-semitism-is-a-right-wing-plot-and-tories-are-racist/
This satire is brilliant. This post certainly merits a 'bookmark.'
ReplyDeleteHow does Fr. Rosica hope to build bridges when he's strongly criticizing others including biblical writers/bloggers? Great entry!
ReplyDeletePerfect Eccles!
ReplyDeleteRosica, italian verb, from vulgar latin, from common latin Rodere, means literally He gnaws, the most common meaning is metaphorical, He is gnawed, consumed (by jealousy).
ReplyDeleteObviously our dear brother Rosica is jealous, he would like to take a stab at some dry humor about red shoes, Dominicans, or Canada, but his job description is fundamentally incompatible with that.