"You're all fired!"
The first step in this reorganization is for Pope Francis to re-apply for the job of Pope. He has been asked to send in a CV and two testimonials - probably they will be from Austen Ivereigh and Stephen Walford - saying that he is the most suitable person for the job, and an all-round decent guy who is humble, merciful, non-rigid, reliably infallible, and not at all bossy.
The St Gallen Mafia is a little weakened at present, what with the loss of Danneels and Murphy-O'Connor, but old Wally Kasper is still doddering along on two brain cells, and new recruits are already presenting themselves, such as Marx, Cupich, and Maradiaga. The St Gallen Mafiosi can be relied upon to do what they can to make sure that Pope Francis is reappointed; if they succeed, the traditional white smoke will be replaced by the burning of strange Amazonian plants, ordered in by Cardinal Coccopalmerio.
But the purge does not end there. Many priests, bishops and cardinals considered unsuitable for their jobs will also be moved on to other ministries.
Paglia will go back to his career as a comedian and pianist.
A full list of the sacked staff is not yet available, and will depend on who replaces Pope Francis, should he be unsuccessful in his job application. Fearing that Sarah, Burke, or even Müller will get the top job, some of the more dodgy priests in just-about-good-standing-I-suppose are looking for alternative jobs. Will Fr James Martin become a ballet dancer? Will Bishop Arnold open a hairdressing salon? You read it here first.
Fr Spadaro is expected to retrain as a Maths teacher.
Interestingly, Spadaro has it exactly backwards -- in Theology, 2+2 can only ever make 4. viz. Saint Thomas Aquinas passim on the topics of logic and rationality.
ReplyDeleteIt's in maths, applied maths in particular, that 2+2 can sometimes equal 3 or 5, in lieu of the massively more usual 4.
Spadaro should keep within his own area of competence --- errr, someone please remind me what it is ?
Idiocy. That's what it is.
DeleteSo refreshing, Eccles! Some sanity!!! @JabbaPapa: Perhaps Spadaro's area of competence is incompetence or impotence or some combination thereof.
ReplyDeleteBuggery
ReplyDeleteSend Bergoglio ,Depaglia, Cocopalmeiro and Zunchetta back to Argentina. They all would likely.be indicted and arrested for Mendoza and Buenos aires scandals of Sodomite cletgy abuse of youngsters there . .
ReplyDelete