* Abortionists, * Child abusers, * Rapists, * Embezzlers, and of course * Idol-worshippers.I think this includes most of Francis's bosom pals. Hi, Emma, Marko, Gustavo, Giovanni, and the Pachamama club!
This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles
Showing posts with label Jean-Claude Hollerich. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jean-Claude Hollerich. Show all posts
Wednesday, 21 June 2023
The synod of bishops will welcome (nearly) everyone
It's the day the whole Catholic Church has been waiting for: the Instrumentum Laboris
for the forthcoming Synod of Synodal Bishops on Synodality (sponsored by Bud Light) is released.
This is the result of lengthy discussions
and the use of sophisticated AI (so NOT Austen Ivereigh), and the
common theme is ALL ARE WELCOME.
As Cardinal Jean-Claude Hollerich points out, we need to welcome persistent adulterers, LGBTQSJ+- people,
and even the bigamists! They may receive communion - indeed, why not let them act
as Extraordinary Monsters of Holy Communion?
The Hell Choir (anag., 9 letters) is singing!
We must also welcome female deacons, and this includes transgender deacons and those who self-identify as
cats. Give them a friendly stroke (the cats, that is) and a saucer of milk! Welcome any dead mice they
have brought in to Mass!
But this is only half the story. Following representations from Pope Francis's best mates,
we shall now be pleased to encourage:
From the Austen Ivereigh Art Collection: we welcome the drunk addicted to custard pies!
Of course there are some classes of people that cannot POSSIBLY be welcomed.
Anyone who wants to celebrate the traditional Latin Mass... anyone who asks embarrassing questions
about Amoris Laetitia (bye, bye, Burke!)... all indietrists, backwardists, self-absorbed Promethean
neo-Pelagians, faithful Catholics, ...
I hope the bishops have got the message now.
Late news. There is one category of Francis mates that we forgot to mention.
And, for once, there is a Biblical justification to it, since Christ told us to feed the hungry.
Yes, here we are!
We welcome the gluttons!
Saturday, 20 May 2023
Rochie-the-Pooh
With apologies to A.A. Milne.
Rochie-the-Pooh, a bear of very little brain,
lived in the Hundred Acre Wood under the name of Arthur.
Living under the name of Arthur.
One day he was feeling very hungry, and he said to himself
"I think I'll go and see my little friend Austen Pigleteigh. Maybe he will have some
cake for me."
As he walked along the path, Pooh hummed to himself.
Massiwol reveals the true meaning of Vatican II to a fascinated Rochie-the-Pooh.
"Perhaps I should have gone to see Christo Ber Goglin,"
said Pooh. "
"He's not very busy today, just
doing an audience. Of course I could telephone him first and ask him if he has any cake - he won't mind being interrupted. No,
it had better be Piglet."
In the most depressing part of the forest, the WherePachaIs bog, lived Mike Eeyore, the donkey. Pooh's journey took him
past the wreck that Eeyore called home. "Hullo, Eeyore!" he said. "What a lovely morning for eating cake!"
"Is it a lovely morning?" replied Eeyore gloomily. "Nobody told me. Even Christo Ber Goglin, who is
knows everything, hasn't told me what I should think about the weather today. It's so depressing."
The dullest part of the blogosphere.
By now Pooh was getting very hungry, and he suddenly remembered that he still had a jar of honey
left in his own larder. Not as good as cake, but it would fill that little gap between 10 o'clock and 11 o'clock.
So he turned round and went home again.
Outside his house he found Austen Pigleteigh, who was jumping up and down trying to reach the knocker.
Now, please make no mistake, A cardinal likes cake! You think that I should diet? Only an indietrist would try it!"But what if little Piglet doesn't have any cake?" asked Pooh. "Should I go and see my friend the wise owl MASSIWOL instead? No, he has taken up theology now, and he won't listen to me if I hint that it's time for a little something. Or rather, a big something would be better..."
Who stopped the Mass? You may call uncle Arthur an ass, But he stopped the Mass! Tiddly-pom!
Friday, 31 December 2021
King Herod calls a Synod
Judea, about 2 BC.
King Herod is talking to his advisers about the possibility of murdering
young children in Bethlehem.
Herod: Thank you all for coming to my meeting. I hope for the maturation of a true synodal journey.
Youngest adviser: You what?
Herod: Let me explain. Traditional teaching says "Thou shalt do no murder", but I think we may agree
that, in the light of accompaniment and discernment, we may re-interpret this as "Thou mayst do murder."
Muttering amongst the advisers, and then the senior one speaks out: "On the synodal journey the most important
thing is the process, because it is already the result."
Herod: I couldn't have put it better myself. So, it's agreed then, we kill all the young kids in Bethlehem?
Omnes: Yes, of course. After all, the High Priest has called us on the synodal journey, this is the journey that we must do
together, and it is also the occasion for a new beginning.
Herod: Exactly. We can make up doctrine as we go along. Nobody ever called me rigid!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)