This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles
Showing posts with label bone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bone. Show all posts

Monday, 15 August 2011

Makin my peas wiv Anti Moly

As you saw on de previuos blogg, I was very cross wiv Anti Moly for sayin dat dere was SEX on dis blogg. But bein a holy and saved persson, I decidded to forgiv her. So I got her a peas offerin, some luvvly flowers. Well we aint got many flowers in de gardden, but I picked her a bunch of luvvly homlocks and netles, its de thuoght what counts. It aint easy to find it in de Bibble but I is sure dat Jessus would have done de same if his Anti had been mean to Him.

homlocksnetles

Den I took dem flowers to her room, and was startin a speech I had preppared, viz "Anti Moly we is all God's creetures, and dat includdes you who aint saved and who is gonna end up in de lake of fire. Sorry if I is bein a bit tactless in mentionnin dis rihgt now. My hart is pure and I has forgivven you your wikced libbles about my blogg."
But I didnt get dat far, as she snatched de flowers from me wiv a cry of "Lunch! At last!" and gobled dem down.

I finks we is freinds agin now, and I took Spot de dog for a walk, he's a good dog, but when you throws sticks for him, you has to throw three of dem, or else de three heads (Micky, Rutzi and Rofls) starts to fihgt. Anyways, Anti Moly says he prefers bons.
"Where does I get bons?" I asked Anti.
Anti Moly said, "Ask de bucther for some bons, or else de undertakker."
I went to see de bucther and he said "I'll save some bons for you, Eccles."
"Dat can't be rihgt," I repplied. "If dey is alreddy bons, den it's too late for dem to be saved. Pastor Vermicelli told me dat." Some poeple just dont understannd evangellical thoelogy.

Anyways, Bosco is behavin very stranggely after bein bitten by Camila. He has ordered a wooden box and says he wants to sleep in it all day.

Bosco's new bed

Dat may seem lazy, but Bosco says dat he will go out at nihgt and save passers-by, so I guess it's OK.


Friday, 22 July 2011

Bosco in love

Bosco's girlfiend, Camila, wot lives near de cemettery, came round to see us last nihgt. She says she used to be a Cathlic, but den she got bitten by evanggelism. We oferred her a drink and she asked "Does you perchance has any blud?" Dis aint part of our ussual ciusine, but lukcily Anti Moly had a bottle handy, she says dat someone came round while we was out who looked like he mihgt be a Cathlic. I fink it is best to ask no questions here, at least we has got some refreshmeant for Camila. We also offerred Bosco’s beautiful lady a jiucy stake but she was offendded, I dont know why. Bosco adorres her, and everyone sez she is just the sort of person to clam him down a little when he gets wild.

Dis is Camila and a wooden bed she sleeps in, it is a luvvly photo.

Camila and her bed

After his award from "Pervo Times", Bosco's blogg have gained him another prize, dis time from de Dawkins foundation wot is run by a grate scholar in Oxford who got borred wiv playing with test tubes and took up thoelogy. Although stricly speaking dese peeple is athiests, and so hasnt been saved, dey is very sound when it comes to persecuttin Cathlics, so we regards dem as our bruvvers wiv just a few docktrinal diferrences. De award dis time is a luvly pair of St Boxo shorts, which my dere bruvver plans to ware on his head so dat everryone can see what kind of person he is.

St Boxo shorts

I has been ticked off by Bosco for reveelin dat Damain Thopmson have converted to de Calumny Chappel, as dis is a seccret at present. Damain will continnue writing non-religgious blogs about Joanne Hairy until someone notice dat he is avoiddin de subject of de Cathlic church (frankly, he is scarred dat Cristinna Oddone will find out and beet him up, she’s a tuogh lady).

Bosco aint very popular wiv de Calumny Chappel right now, as he recenttly gave a Bibble class to de under-12s, and de hospital said dey was overworked as a result, viz. 6 broken noses, 8 broken arms, 4 cases of concusion, and one leg bitten off completelly. Well dem kids was nuaghty and Bosco had to disscipline dem nobody could objecct to dat. He told de little boys and girls dat dey would end up in de lake of fire, and dat dey would not be saved. He is a kind bruvver to me, and I can tetsefly dat he only does dese things in order to help peeple.

PS I found dis in de garden under Anti Moly's window, I fink it is someone who aint saved.

bone