It's Laudato Si' mania!

What is the biggest event in the Catholic Church this week? Ascension Day? Oh no, you're so RIGID! The 100th birthday of the saintly Pope John-Paul II? Nearer, but still wrong. No, it's the 5th anniversary of Pope Francis's fantastic work of fiction, Laudato Si'!

But nobody noticed as they were all celebrating Laudato Si'.

There will be rejoicing throughout the Catholic world. Bonfires will be lit. Houses will be illuminated. The streets will be decorated with plastic straws. Pachamama idols will be brought out. There will be a performance of Paul Inwood's "Alleluia-puff-puff" by an orchestra of tuned air conditioners, boilers, revving car engines, etc. There will be jet fly-pasts. Clouds of dry ice will swirl everywhere.

This begins a WHOLE YEAR of Laudato Si' celebrations - the Jubilee Year of Laudato Si'. As for the Year of Mercy, there will be a specially-designed ugly logo, and each church will have an electric "Door of Laudato Si'" through which people can enter.

"How dare you?" The logo of the Year of Laudato Si'.

Pope Francis is naturally very pleased with Laudato Si' - it is nearly as ground-breaking as Amoris Laetita, but the year of AL won't begin until the 5th anniversary in March/April 2021. LS is described as the greatest work in theology since the book of Revelation, and burning copies have contributed more to the environment than for any other papal encyclical.

"It's very good, but I really can't accept a copy," says top Catholic Austen Ivereigh.

So what are the theological lessons that we can learn from Laudato Si' (now a best-selling novel, soon to be a major television series, an opera, a ballet, and a series of three long movies by Sir Peter Jackson)? Well, let Pope Francis himself show us some of the main hazards to the environment.

Don't use aeroplanes! Don't use plastic! And don't pollute the atmosphere!

Let joy be unconfined!

New eco-friendly catechism

Plastic

92357 Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents the use of plastic as an act of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "plastic is intrinsically disordered." It is contrary to the natural law. It does not proceed from a genuine love of Mother Nature as shown to us through Pachamama. Under no circumstances can it be approved.

92358 The inclination to use plastic is objectively disordered, but the number of men and women who feel such deep-seated urges is not negligible. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

92359 God in His mercy has provided for us Green Bins, in which to caste away all plastics that may prevent us from approaching Christian perfection. Although some of us are endowed with bins that are blue, or even rainbow-coloured, they too can be seen as blessings unto us.

92360 Many of us are also blessed with bins of another colour; for example, we may have a brown bin into which may be cast all that is biodegradable, that it may be return to Mother Earth as compost. To throw into our brown bin those gifts that are not worthy of it, such as plastics, wooden idols, and glass bottles, is morally inadmissible; wrongdoers must pray and fast, and may only receive forgiveness from a bishop.

© Pope Francis and Cardinal G. Thunberg

Cast away your sins, that ye may be forgiven!