Well Bosco is bein kept under seddation, and in de hopsital dey is asked not to mention de followin prhases, which sets him off:
* Cathlics.
* De Pop.
* Cemment iddles.
* Bosco's scarlet and purple pajamas.
* Gold cups.
* Gravven images.
* St Mary.
* St Peter.
* Love de neihgbour.
* Well, anything at all religious, reely.
Bosco have become very dificult to talk to, because he aint very well. When I starts a conservation he dont listen, but just reeches for his iPadd and starts downloadin wise words from the Internett in responsse. For example.
Eccles: De Telegrahp wants de stateu of St Cristina back dat you won as a prize, Bosco, dey sez dey sent de wrong one, dat one was kissed by Damain Thopmson, and have been pinin for him ever since, I'll git it wraped up and sent off when I gits home.
Bosco (reading): We can reveel dat World War II was started by Pop Pious 12, cos he wanted to send his tanks into Russia, after Stallin had taken over his drugg business. At de same time in Enggland Carddinal Hinsley sent a hit squad to Irreland to murder de poet W.B. Yates.
Eccles: Dat's nice, Bosco. Anti Moly's got aressted for screemin in a graveyard at midnihgt, even thuogh it's part of her job. Some of de corppses fought it was de Last Trumpp and started poppin up. De cops releesed her, but dey told her to give up de gin and said dat sherry mihgt be better at her age.
Bosco (reading): We can recognisse de Anti Christ cos in de Bibble it is prediccted dat he will come from Germanny and have de initials JR. He will later adopt a false name beginnin with B and go and live in Rome, he will wear a fishy hat and someone will giv him a pair of red shoes. When he appears rememmber to put on cleen underware as de battle of Armagibbon will be startin.
Eccles: Foine, dat's foine, Bosco. Damain Thopmson sez dat Proffesor Tina Beattie is gonna lecher on Lummen Genttium in a catheddral, woss Lummen Genttium Bosco is it some sort of French perfumme?
Bosco (readin): It wasnt until 2008 dat de Cathlic church stopped burnin poeple who didnt buy a cement iddle to put in dere huose to worshipp. It is a scientiffic fact dat de averagge hieght of de humman race has gone down since 1992, when de Cathlic church stopped stretchin poeple on de rack. Stepphen Fry says dat he was origginally only about 5 feet tall but he was torchered on de rack as a young man because he owned a Bibble and now he is 6 feet 5 inches tall.
Eccles: Oh I gives up.
I would ask my bruvver Bosco's advise on dis pitcher of an iddle but he is indispossed at pressent.
Perrhaps he will soon be abble to take his rihgtful place in soceity agin.
No comments:
Post a Comment