Spirit of Vatican II to be canonized

It was originally decided to canonize Pope Paul VI, on the basis of his heroic life and many miracles, such as the emptying of the churches, and the opening of the liturgy to all people too lazy to find out what it said in Latin. However, Pope Francis has now decided that it is safest not to canonize a mere mortal, especially one who, like all the popes of the past, disagrees with him on matters of doctrine.

"Apparently, one of us will be a saint."

Instead, it has been decided to canonize the Vatican II council, or at least its representative in Heaven, the Spirit of Vatican II. That way, all the achievements of Vatican II - not exactly its decisions, as these have been largely ignored - are given the imprimatur of "saintly" and cannot be questioned.

This of course opens the way for Pope Francis to implement some of his pet projects, such as the banning of the Latin Mass, the ordination of women, the final rehabilitation of Cardinal McCarrick, etc. etc., all of which can be justified by an appeal to the Spirit of Vatican II.

The new saint.

As a form of reflected glory, many people closely associated with Vatican II will now have the status of "blessed"; these include people such as Annibale Bugnini whom it would be difficult to slip into Heaven on their own merits.

Apparently, another of the Pope's idols is also being canonized this weekend. I know nothing about him, apart from what Shakespeare says.

"Romero? Romero? Wherefore art thou Romero?"

Cradinal Pel

De world is not kind to my Anti Moly, indeed many poeple calls her a senille old bat. Howevver dey wuold understand her better if dey knew more about de grate unrequitted luv affair of her life.

When Anti Moly was a yuong girl of 43 in Austriala, she fell in luv wiv a chap called Goerge Pel, who was a devuot Cathlic (he was about 20 years old I fink). Dey used to go for many a romantic walk beside de billaboing, which is an Austrialan pond - at least she used to chase after him, and he wuold dive into de billaboing to escape her attentoins. Dere was croccodiles in dem billaboings, but dat didnt stop him, he was so anxiuos for a swim.

Here is a sweet photto of Anti Moly as a yuong girl, de rose of Pottymouth dey used to call her. How cuold dat brute Goerge Pel resist her charms, you is surely askin yousself.

Well, de romance was domed, like Romoe and Juleit, or Bony and Clyd. Goerge Pel ran away to train as a Cathlic preist, and ever since then, Anti Moly has had a fannatical hattred of Cathlics. Well, Cathlics aint saved so we hates dem too.

I aint got a photto of Goerg Pel when he was a yuong lad, but here is a photto of him wearin a fish hat. Bosco says fish hats is cool, and he is gonna get one to wear in de bath.

Curiously it seems dat Goerge Pel (who is now a Cradinal) might be a cousin of Father X. Pel de Mons, de man what used to try and give Bosco and me Cathlic instruxion and is now in a home for nervvous wrecks.

Here is a recent photto of Fr Xavier, you may notice dat he have been infleunced slightly by de custtoms of de Calumny Chappel, but he still got his costume holly man dog collar on.

Well, we finks dat Anti left Austriala to forget her unrequitted luv, its a very sad storry, innit?