I visited a Jesuit playground and met two of the little darlings having fun together; one was called Jim ("I'm Jezzie James") and the other Tony ("Spideroman").
Tony playing with his friends Big Frank and Arthur (the gang leaders).
Me: Hello, Jesuits, are you having fun?
Jim: I'm building a bridge. Poo, it's fallen down again!
Tony: I'm doing sums. 1 and 1 is 3. 2 and 2 is 5. Tee hee hee!
Me: Oh, right. Did you go to Church today, Jesuits?
Possibly the stupidest thing ever said by a Jesuit.
Jim: Yes, it was all about a wedding. Jesus wasn't allowed to go to it.
Tony: Naughty Jesus was a biggot! Won't go to Heaven!
Jim: He should have listened to the Canny... Cannonite woman!
Tony: I gotta new Bible.
Jim: He's gotta new Bible. It's the Messy Bible.
Tony: Message Bible. A special one for Jesuits.
A special Jesuit Bible with all the sense removed.
Jim: What does the angel say when he sees Mary?
Tony: Nice to see you, to see you nice! Tee hee hee!
Jim: And Jesus talks to Mary Magdulum. Says "Hello, Mary, how would you like to be the Pope?"
"Unlike Jesus, I'm properly dressed for a wedding!"
Tony: Hey, here comes Arthur. He's the leader of our gang.
Arthur: Hello, Jim, hello, Tony. Who's this?
Tony: It's Mr Eccles. He's a witless worm. Tee hee hee.
Arthur: He's got a tape recorder.
Jim: Jesus had a tape recorder.
Arthur: No he didn't!
Jim: He did, he did, he did!
Arthur: No, he didn't. That's why we don't know what he said.
Jim: We can make it up, can't we?
"Today I'm launching a Crusade against armchair Catholics!"
Tony: Shut up you lot. Here comes Big Frank. He's got a Magic Sterium.
Jim: What's a Magic Sterium?
Tony: It's for making up Cathlic teaching. It has a pair of scissors for cutting up old teaching, and a nice pen for writing new doctrine.
Frank: All right, you lot. Today we're going to break some armchairs. I don't like armchair Catholics!
Omnes: Ooh, what fun!
"Now I say SHAZAM and the Pope disappears!"
With thanks to @topcatholic and @thecorrectpope for locating some material.
