This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 9 September 2018

Spadaro wins prestigious satire prize

Fr Antonio Spadaro SJ has been awarded the prestigious Vatican II Prize for Catholic Satire, named after the congress that spawned more parodies of Catholic teaching and liturgy than any before.

Open to God, cover

"I laughed until I cried" - emeritus Pope Benedict VI.

The hysterically funny blurb for the book makes it clear that it will be a bundle of laughs from start to finish:

[Pope Francis] has turned the Catholic Church upside-down, flung open the windows of the Vatican and purged the Augean stables of corruption, simony, nepotism and financial skulduggery. ... Where there are trouble spots in the world, he goes and invariably people say his visits change everything. ... Unlike his predecessor, he does not sit down in a room in the Vatican and write learned books. ... He likes being asked questions and finds it easy to respond. ... The Franciscan revolution is under way and in spite of his vehement critics the revolution will roll on and new horizons will be opened for the one and a half billion Catholics in the world today.

Raymond Cardinal Burke is one who agrees that Pope Francis likes being asked questions and finds it easy to respond. Another is Archbishop Viganò. Both assured me that this was not satire but a perfectly true description of the Pope's reactions to questions, whether on doctrine or on his own record.

Henry "Marcantonio Colonna" Sire, on the other hand, merely commented "This satricial book makes Eccles's blog look like Holy Writ in comparision."

silly Napier tweet

Cardinal "Foxy" Napier was highly commended for comparing Francis to Jesus.

Previous winners of the satire prize include Austen Ivereigh, for his biography Pope Francis, the great Redeemer, Fr James Martin SJ for his wonderful works explaining that homosexual relationships were best conducted on bridges, and Prof. Tina Beattie for her book comparing the Mass to an act of homosexual intercourse (a theme now taken up by Fr Rosica).

silly Rosica tweet

A good try, Rosie, but this is just unhinged, rather than proper satire.

Satire about Pope Francis is nowadays as common as heresy from a Jesuit, but Spadaro's book goes further than any before, explaining how the Holy Father can walk on water, travel in time, leap high buildings, cure diseases simply by touching people, slay dragons, glow in the dark, and turn people to stone merely by staring at them.

Superman pope

Very cruel satire on Pope Francis.

Anyway, the final word must go to Fr Spadaro himself. "I am delighted that my book has won this prestigious Vatican II Prize," he said. "The first thing I shall do is to hold a wild celebration party with some of my closest friends."

Spadaro party

"Let's get legless!"


  1. It took me rather a while to make out what was represented on the cover. My first reaction was that it was a condom or a sperm. This is not me being facetious, this is an honest account. By way of explanation, I'm so stupid I still haven't learned that 2+2=5; or that sodomy is the perfectly natural act that simpers coquetishly to Heaven.

  2. Eccles, you have excelled yourself - but then you always do! Inspired!

  3. "... like Holy Writ in comparision..." I think Sire is a bit unfair to you. Your blog actually contains inspired books, like the Book of (Br)exodus and the Book of Chicken, um, sorry, of Richard.

  4. Cover photo by Daemon of Air. Looks like something that fell from heaven like lightning and splattered.

  5. On first glance, looks like a pigeon turd on the sidewalk.

  6. This book should be banned on the grounds of it being a clear and present risk to public health. Anyone with a sensus catholicus above room temperature who reads it will almost certainly end up in A & E, either through a hernia brought on by hysterical laughter or because of a frozen shoulder caused by chronic and uncontrollable cringing. The title's a bit clunky too. I much prefer the more punchy and straightforward prequel 'My Door is Always Open', though that makes me wonder if Jorge either needs to get a new concierge or if it's to try and dispel that stubborn ovine aroma that's dogged his reign almost from the get-go.