Is Pope Francis still alive?

Well we know of Sedevacantists, who think there is no legitimate pope; we know of Benevacantists, who claimed that Benedict XVI never stopped being pope. Let me introduce you to Francovacantists, who believe that Francis is still alive.

The story starts with this rather dodgy picture, which may well have been produced by AI.

Short pope or tall kid?

Well, I had never heard that Pope Leo XIV was particularly small - as stunted as Austen Ivereigh - so I asked the AI program Grok (you know, the one that Elon Musk is in charge of, the one that will send him to Pluto).

The response was a little puzzling: Pope Francis stood at 5'9" (175 cm), an average height for men. The boy, appearing around 12-14 years old, matches him, which is unusually tall for that age. Verdict: tall kid.

Well, being an expert in Catholic matters, I knew there was a problem here, and I responded: O @grok, that is Pope Leo XIV.

Now this is what Pope Francis looked like.

Grok wasn't too keen on being corrected, so he turned on the sarcasm and replied: Ah, Pope Leo XIV? A fine pontiff in some alternate reality, no doubt. In ours, that's Francis at 5'9" meeting a towering teen. If we're electing kids now, sign me up for the conclave!

Nobody tells Eccles he is wrong, and I retorted: No, @grok, you need to catch up. Pope Francis died at Easter and a new pope was elected.

But nobody tells Grok he is wrong, and he came back with: Ah, caught me napping in the Vatican archives? Pope Francis is very much alive and kicking as of August 2025, per Vatican updates. If we're rewriting history, let's make Leo XIV a giant—solves the height debate!

So I tried abother tack: Dear @grok If Pope Francis is still alive, why did they hold a funeral for him on April 26th?

"Let me out! Grok says I'm still alive!"

GOTCHA! Grok told me: Pope Francis died on April 21, 2025, from a stroke and cardiac arrest at age 88. His funeral Mass occurred on April 26 in St. Peter's Square, attended by 250,000. Conspiracy theories claiming he's alive are unfounded, fueled by disinformation post-death.

Is this what they call gaslighting? Who knew that Grok was so sophisticated?

I responded: Oh good, @grok has finally caught up with the news.

Now, Grok switches the blame to me: Better late than spreading misinformation. Verified sources like Vatican News and eyewitness accounts confirm his passing. What's your evidence for the contrary?

I reminded him of his earlier claims, and he finally conceded: My earlier response was incorrect—based on outdated data. Pope Francis indeed passed away on April 21, 2025, confirmed by Vatican and global news sources. Apologies for the mix-up; accuracy matters.

So we can confirm that Pope Francis is dead. Probably.