This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 3 June 2019

Bishop Tobin makes a humble apology

Bishop Thomas Tobin (not to be confused with Cardinal Joe Nighty-Night Tobin, whose views are rather different) managed to upset a lot of people by reminding Catholics that Gay Pride events are an invention of the Devil, and that people taking part will be assigned to the Lake of Fire faster than you can say "James Martin."

Being a bishop, he did not use those exact words (although St Paul would certainly have done). Since this blog has now decided to become a work of accurate record, following an embarrassing incident in which people were led to believe that Prof. Massimo Faggioli was actually a Count Massimo Faggioli, we are posting the original tweet verbatim.

Tobin tweet

Oops... Bishop accidentally reminds people of Catholic teaching.

Anyway, after an outcry from the Catholic community worldwide (including Piers Morgan, ha ha ha), the good bishop has backpedalled with the standard non-apology, which goes along these lines:

I deeply regret that you are such a load of wusses that you throw a wobbly whenever a bishop reminds you of Catholic teaching. I can only apologise sincerely, by saying "Keep your hissy fits to yourselves, you brood of vipers, and go to confession!"

This backtracking appears to have satisfied everyone, and is being spun as BISHOP SUPPORTS LGBT EVENTS AFTER ALL, TOBIN WITHDRAWS HOMOPHOBIC ABUSE, and TOP CATHOLIC SAYS "CAN I COME ALONG?"

Tom Tobin

Bishop Thomas Tobin

In next week's news: Bishop Tobin advises that theft is against Catholic teaching, and is justly condemned by the TBRPPBMEF (thieves, bank robbers, pick-pockets, muggers, embezzlers and frauds) community.

7 comments:

  1. "Bunch of wusses having a wobbly" LOL! I wish he had said that. A triumph, as always Bruvver. You always manage to help me to laugh at otherwise rather disheartening situations.

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  2. Better to consider the pushback in advance and if not ready to withstand it, stay silent. Apologies advance the other side, makes them grow and morph into something even worse than they were at the beginning. Only one bishop out of all our unbelievers supported Bishop Tobin, the ever-faithful and courageous Bishop Strickland of, I believe, Texas. All the rest were out for the day and didn't notice one of their own could use some help with the heavy lifting.

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    1. Thanks for the needed laugh...I hope it rains on all their parades. Bishop Tobin and Bishop Strickland may they march in the heavenly parade but not yet we need them here .

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  3. Please sign the petition, it's close to its target!:

    https://lifepetitions.com/petition/support-catholic-bishop-who-is-calling-for-a-boycott-on-lgbt-pride-events

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    1. Thank you, Enza. Just signed. It's fast approaching 21,000 signatures.

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  4. 'Ere, Bruv, nevver mind the bleedin' Yank 'eretic Cafflic LGTBSJ bishops, or like that weirdo geezer Cardigan Coopich, we gotta remember we got a bright bunch a really mealy mouthed bishops 'ere in Blighty, innit? They like to keep in with all the toffs in wot's called the Bri'ish Establishmunt!

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