This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Pope Francis thrown off aeroplane

Breaking my Lenten fast to report some hot news. E.

Catholic Airlines have apologised for dragging Pope Francis off their flight to Heaven, and suggesting he travel by Air Luther instead ("you'll feel much more at home there," said one member of staff).

 Pope Francis leaves plane

Pope Francis leaves the plane.

According to reports, four cardinals led by Raymond Burke joined the flight at the last moment, and it was therefore necessary to remove four less "saved" passengers. The computer selected four people who were regarded as being of low priority: these included Fathers Spadaro, Rosica and Martin SJ, all of whom were described as part-time Catholics in the media profession. They agreed to leave peacefully on being offered a recompense of 30 PAG (30 pieces of silver, worth approximately $800). However, the fourth passenger selected, Pope Francis, refused to budge.

Pope standing up on plane

"I don't mind standing throughout the flight!"

It seems that Pope Francis had proposed to stand throughout the flight, entertaining the captive passengers with new revisions to the Catholic Magisterium, but this was against civil aviation regulations, and the offer was refused.

Late news: Air Luther's flight to Heaven has been diverted to another airport, Purgatory International, where passengers may be expected to wait for a few hundred years before going on to their final destination. The only light reading available will be a complete set of Vatican II documents.

17 comments:

  1. Thank you Eccles yet again for cheering us up. Without your blog for light relief, the Documents of Vatican II can get pretty tedious!

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  2. Nothing wrong with Vatican II documents, surely the last line should be: The only light reading available will be a complete set of Tablet articles on the 'Spirit of Vatican II'.

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    1. I wouldn't give them something heretical to read!

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    2. Of course you wouldn't brother Eccles....oooops, I mean sister Annie. Haaaahahahahaha. Busted.

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    3. I sense the beginning of a "you're sister Annie" meme.

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    4. "Nothing" being the operative word when applied to VAT II

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  3. If only Francis would be thrown out of the....Vatican. That would be a beautiful thing to behold.

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  4. Ah...a reprieve...a long Lent without Eccles. Welcome back, glad to read you again...

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  5. Hahaha--- Totally enjoyed this, thank you!

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  6. Isn't it Argentina where they throw people off planes when they are IN FLIGHT?

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    Replies
    1. They also fed people to the lions in BA zoo - very early church!

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  7. Great to have more spiritual nourishment from our Bruvver! It has been a very long Lent... blessings to you and have a wonderful Easter.

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  8. Great to hear from you again, Bruv! Have a blessed Easter- Pat Claus

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  9. My experience with Air Luther has been even worse, I couldn't even get inside the plane.

    At the check in I showed my passport and my smartphone with the booking ID, the guy shouted YOU DID NOT PRINT IT, SOLA SCRIPTURA!!! and had two thugs escorting me out the building.

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  10. Great to see you again...or should that be Grate...Nah! Great it is .

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  11. Purgatory?? You're very optimistic for that lot!

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