This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Bosco beginns trainin

Well, we all fuoght dat my big Bruvver Bosco was gonna retire to a convent, and maybe train as a nun - in dese days of eqaul opportunnities, dey cant stop him if he wants to. But he left de convent, cos he felt dat as saved pusson de contemplattive life (dat means finking a lot) werent for him.

Bosco also had a bust-up wiv Camila, his main girlfiend, who didnt like him spendin all his time wiv uvver girls - not even nuns, who aint allowed erottic pleassures of de flesh like holdin hands wiv Bosco. I asked Bosco if his girl had dumped him, but he said "No, I has dumped her."

Dumped girl

Now Bosco says he met an ex-preist 90th degree freemasson warrlock, who told him dat if you wishes to be promotted in de Cathlic churhc you gotta be a warrlock. Poeple may mock Bosco, but here is de sort of evvidence he got.

90th degree freemasson warrlock

Well, Bosco has decidded to get to de hart of de matter, and so he have enrolled on a trainin program dat will make him a 90th degree freemasson warrlock, and thus in a positoin to control de Cathlic churhc. So far he is just a 1st degree novvice, but promotoin is fast, if you pays reggular subscriptoins. Bosco aint been given his own appron yet, but he has been tuaght de secret handshake. Here it is bein demonstarted by two bishops. Aint dat conclussive proof dat senoir clergy gotta be freemassons?

Secret handshake

Well we awates wiv excitement de news of Bosco's furver traning. He says dat rolled-up truoser-legs comes into it next, but wuoldnt it be simpler just to ware shorts?

Late news: Anti Moly has told me dat we is takin a trip to Sidney, as de time has come to confront Cradinal Pell wiv his past. Anti Moly fuoght of dressin me up as a baby and taking me in a pram, so dat she cuold prettend dat I was de illegittimate son of dis cosstume holly man. But it wuoldnt be very convincin, since it is 50 years since dey knew each uvver, and anyways you cant farver illegittimate kids wiv a girl if you runs off and jumps into a billaboing every time you sees her. Its a well-known method of avvoidin de probblem of unwanted babies, as dis pitcher shows.

Cosstume holly man avvoidin sex

1 comment:

  1. Hello Eccles,

    My regards to Moly and Bosco, please send. Jedi blockade of Damain Tomphson under way.

    Must dash