This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Thursday 25 August 2016

George Soros admits responsibility for Vatican II

Zillionaire George Soros has finally admitted something that was long suspected by Catholics, namely that he was entirely responsible for Vatican II and its consequences. This confession is seen as the most devastating in a week in which (a) Soros was revealed to be funding Irish groups campaigning for abortion, and (b) he was discovered to have paid $650K to influence American bishops during the Pope's visit last year. (As for (b), we may exclude bishops such as Dolan and Cupich, who are already capable of causing mayhem without any financial incentive.)

Arthur Brough

The "man of Soros" predicted by Isaiah.

By using his considerable influence, Soros managed to bring in many innovations that were previously blamed on the Spirit of Vatican II. Destruction of the old liturgy, the hermeneutic of rupture, an increased tolerance for abortion, divorce, euthanasia, and same-sex relationships, and a push for women priests... these were not actually agreed by Vatican II but somehow Soros's money managed to convince people that they were.

It is also believed that Soros was behind the election of Pope Francis, and that Amoris Laetitia - which even the pope has never read properly - started life as a romantic novel by a "nun on the bus", backed by that financial wizard who made £1bn out of the UK's problems on "Black Wednesday".

Mollie Sugden and John Inman

Fr James Martin SJ interviews a "nun on the bus" in the employment of Soros.

So what will Uncle George do next? Will he himself run for the position of pope next time? Or will he simply remain a humble cardinal, an Eminence Grise behind the scenes?

There is a rumour that he will try to buy the Catholic Herald and make it look more like the Tablet. With Cristina Odone, Mary Kenny and Ronald Hellraiser already writing for it, he will not have far to go.

Frank Thornton and George Soros

Fr Ronald Hellraiser in discussion with George Soros.

12 comments:

  1. All this is very distressing news...will throw on a burquini/nuns habit,opus dei thigh thorn set and take myself off to the beach.

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  2. He looks more grieved by a wrap than wrapt in grief.

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  3. Besides, choosing to call it "Vatican II" was kind of a giveaway, we all know that sequels always suck.

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  4. Are we to assume, from the "clips" from "Are You Being Served", that Parish Priests requiring Alter Servers can apply to Mr Soros for assistance ? We need to know.

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    Replies
    1. Do you suspect that your "Alter Servers" are really transgender?

      Delete
  5. Were any Animals harmed during the compiling of this Article ?

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  6. Does this Article contain Nuts ?

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  7. COMPLAINT TO THE EDITOR:

    Sir.

    This Article does NOT mention Nelson Mandela, Tina Beatty, Mo Farah, or The BBC.

    What is your Editorial Policy coming to ? We need to know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > This Article does NOT mention Nelson Mandela, Tina Beatty, Mo Farah, or The BBC
      But it does.
      In the comments section.

      Delete
  8. This makes sense. I mean he looks the part.
    Sex and money. Soros ensures both!

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  9. He'll be photographed 'draped by blonde lovelies' next

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  10. Investigative journalism at its finest. Congratulations.

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