The Vatican is lit up in memory of Harambe.
Clearly it would have been more appropriate to have shot the boy instead (at four years, his termination could have passed for a very late-term abortion, and thus have offended nobody). However, in the end it was Harambe that was martyred, and so the campaign for his canonization is already starting.
Flashback to when Hans Kong employed gorilla tactics against the Catholic Church.
Naturally, Cardinal Ravasi has joined in the mourning with a moving tribute to Harambe, tweeting the words, "Ook, oook, ooook!" Fr Thomas Rosica is already blaming traditionalist zoo-keepers for his death, and Fr James Martin is preparing a moving homily where the death of Harambe is to be seen as a sign that God wishes for a liberalization of gay rights, the ordination of women, and the banning of the most recent translation of the liturgy.
Harambe: looked almost human, but was of course totally different.
Well, all that we need now is for Tony Blair to declare him "the people's gorilla". So may Harambe rest in peace, and let us have the Furry Requiem in his memory.