Twitter polls don't seem to be working too well at present (maybe only 1 in 4 votes are recorded) but anyway, here are the last eight in the World Cup of Catholic Converts.The result of the final rounds will be recorded when we have them.
QUARTER-FINALS
Edmund Campion 80.0 v
Elizabeth Ann Seton 20.0
Gerard Manley Hopkins 10.6 v
John Henry Newman 89.4
Edith Stein 74.4 v
Alec Guinness 25.6
Evelyn Waugh 28.2 v
Gilbert Chesterton 71.8
SEMI-FINALS
Edmund Campion 61.8 v Edith Stein 38.2
John Henry Newman 64.5 v Gilbert Chesterton 35.5
THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF
Edith Stein v Gilbert Chesterton
FINAL
Edmund Campion v John Henry Newman
This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles
Tuesday, 14 April 2026
The Emperor Nero attacks St Peter
Produced with the aid of Grok. Any resemblance to current affairs is purely coincidental.
Emperor Nero
@NeroCaesar St. Peter is WEAK on Crime, and terrible for the Empire’s Foreign Policy. He talks about “fear” of the Roman Administration, but doesn’t mention the FEAR that the early Christian cults, and all other strange foreign sects, had during the recent disturbances when they were being arrested for holding their secret gatherings, even when meeting in hidden places far apart. I like his brother Andrew much better than I like him, because Andrew is all Roman. He gets it, and Peter doesn’t! I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s OK for the Parthians to keep their secret fire-weapons. I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s terrible that Rome crushed the Jewish rebels, a Province that was sending massive amounts of troublemakers, zealots, and assassins into our Empire, and even worse, emptying their prisons and sending murderers, rebels, and fanatics into our lands. And I don’t want a Pope who criticizes the Emperor of Rome because I’m doing exactly what the Senate and the People elected me to do, IN A LANDSLIDE, setting record low numbers in street crime in Rome, and creating the Greatest Games and Building Projects in History. Peter should be thankful because, as everyone knows, he was a shocking surprise. He wasn’t on any list to be Pope, and was only put there by that Galilean sect because he was a fisherman from the provinces, and they thought that would be the best way to deal with Emperor Nero. If I weren’t in the Imperial Palace, Peter wouldn’t be in Rome at all. Unfortunately, Peter’s Weakness on Crime, Weakness on allowing foreign cults to arm themselves, does not sit well with me, nor does the fact that he meets with sympathizers of past troublemakers like those who wanted honest citizens and priests of the old gods to be arrested. Peter should get his act together as Pope, use Common Sense, stop catering to the Radical Eastern Cults, and focus on being a Great Pope, not a Politician. It’s hurting him very badly and, more importantly, it’s hurting the True Roman Religion! Emperor NERO
The Emperor Nero heals the sick.
@NeroCaesar St. Peter is WEAK on Crime, and terrible for the Empire’s Foreign Policy. He talks about “fear” of the Roman Administration, but doesn’t mention the FEAR that the early Christian cults, and all other strange foreign sects, had during the recent disturbances when they were being arrested for holding their secret gatherings, even when meeting in hidden places far apart. I like his brother Andrew much better than I like him, because Andrew is all Roman. He gets it, and Peter doesn’t! I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s OK for the Parthians to keep their secret fire-weapons. I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s terrible that Rome crushed the Jewish rebels, a Province that was sending massive amounts of troublemakers, zealots, and assassins into our Empire, and even worse, emptying their prisons and sending murderers, rebels, and fanatics into our lands. And I don’t want a Pope who criticizes the Emperor of Rome because I’m doing exactly what the Senate and the People elected me to do, IN A LANDSLIDE, setting record low numbers in street crime in Rome, and creating the Greatest Games and Building Projects in History. Peter should be thankful because, as everyone knows, he was a shocking surprise. He wasn’t on any list to be Pope, and was only put there by that Galilean sect because he was a fisherman from the provinces, and they thought that would be the best way to deal with Emperor Nero. If I weren’t in the Imperial Palace, Peter wouldn’t be in Rome at all. Unfortunately, Peter’s Weakness on Crime, Weakness on allowing foreign cults to arm themselves, does not sit well with me, nor does the fact that he meets with sympathizers of past troublemakers like those who wanted honest citizens and priests of the old gods to be arrested. Peter should get his act together as Pope, use Common Sense, stop catering to the Radical Eastern Cults, and focus on being a Great Pope, not a Politician. It’s hurting him very badly and, more importantly, it’s hurting the True Roman Religion! Emperor NERO
Saturday, 21 February 2026
The World Cup of Catholic Converts
Some people approve of Catholic converts; others, like Austen Ivereigh, think they are neurotic.
Anyway, it's time for another world cup, once again to be conducted by Twitter (X) polls. There is room
for a few more nominations: the
conditions are that the convert (1) must be dead, and (2) must have converted in adultood (also, must be reasonably well known,
so don't nominate your great-aunt unless she's famous).
Let's keep things post-Reformation to avoid St Matthew, St Paul, or St Augustine of Hippo running away with the whole thing.
Also, my decision is
final.
Alec Guinness as GKC's Father Brown.
So far I have the following nominees:
Buffalo Bill Cody
Nominations may be made by replying to this post, or to its advert on Twitter.
Alec Guinness Augustus Pugin Avery Dulles Buffalo Bill Cody Claud McKay Dorothy Day Edith Nesbit Edith Stein Evelyn Waugh Frederick William Faber G.K. Chesterton Gary Cooper Gerard Manley Hopkins Graham Greene John Henry Newman John Wayne Malcolm Muggeridge Mortimer Adler Muriel Spark Oscar Wilde Robert Hugh Benson Ronald Knox Siegfried Sassoon Thomas Merton
Sunday, 8 February 2026
The adventures of Amelia
Amelia, the AI creature who is mainly an advocate for traditional English values, was recently rebranded as a traditionally-minded Catholic. Here are some of her adventures, as seen on Twitter.
Note that originally she was not dressed appropriately, but she later improved her costume.
Amelia had a polite word with the great Austen Ivereigh, hoping to persuade him not to be so nasty to Bishop Barron.
Then Amelia had an unhappy encounter with Cardinal "Tucho" Fernández. What on earth could he have said to her?
It was Sunday, and of course Amelia went to Mass. However, her kneeling got her into trouble with Bishop Michael Martin of Charlotte.
Being a good Catholic, Amelia is anxious to keep up with the most important aspects of the faith. Thus, she had a meeting with Sr Nathalie Becquart, who has devoted her whole life to synodality. The good sister told her, "One day we shall find out what the point is!"
A bad day for Amelia when she went to visit Fr James Martin LGBTSJ. Can you see what the problem is?
Finally, on St Blaise's Day, Amelia paid a visit to Cardinal Cupich. It seems that they disagreed on a few issues.
All pictures compiled by Copilot.
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