It's WRATH Pride!

We are absolutely FURIOUS that governments, businesses, and even churches are ignoring WRATH PRIDE!

Other deadly sins get their month of glory - we see the rainbow flags of LUST PRIDE (usually abbreviated to PRIDE), and we would see the flags of SLOTH PRIDE if they had bothered to design one, but oh no, WRATH PRIDE isn't good enough to be recognised!

A post-Vatican II WRATH MASS.

Celebrating WRATH MONTH is very easy. Unlike LUST MONTH you don't have to take you clothes off, and unlike SLOTH MONTH you don't have to turn over in bed and say "Leave me alone." No, all we are asking government, businesses, churches etc. to do is what is very natural, and which many do already - be rude to those you serve.

The provisional WRATH PRIDE flag.

Roger Hargreaves has kindly designed a WRATH PRIDE Flag for us - the alternative was simply to use a red rag, known to enrage bulls, but this would have been harder to recognise. We want to COME OUT and show our ANGER to the WORLD!

Batley Townswomen's Guild hold a WRATH party in honour of their most famous son, Arthur Roche.

Some bigoted people condemn us, saying that WRATH is a sin, but how can it be if so many people enjoy it? "Love thy neighbour" is all very well, but "Scream at thy neighbour" comes much more naturally to many of us. So let's celebrate it! STAMP OUT WRATHPHOBIA! With both feet if necessary!

See? Pope Francis is backing us!

Well, that's all I have to say on the matter, you tedious boring blog-readers. You make me SICK! And I hope I make you SICK too!

Why can't Christians be more like Muslims?

Christian leaders have united in a joint effort to make Christianity a protected religion like Islam, marathon-running, cycling, and homosexuality. Pray outsider an abortion-clinic, and you will be screamed at by Rupa Huq and possibly arrested by the police; wear a crucifix at work, and you may be sacked (even if you're a priest).

A new look for the annual pilgrimage to Chartres.

On the other hand, if you wish to dress your wife like a letter box (© Boris Johnson), insist that your meat is produced from animals killed as painfully as possible, and jump out at people shouting "Allahu Akbar", then woe betide anyone who criticises you; if you wish to dress indecently and parade through the streets, making lewd suggestions at passers-by, then the police will probably join in (or if you wish to pretend you are a member of the opposite sex, then nobody may dispute this); and if you want to take place in a marathon race or a cycle ride, the streets will be closed for you, and non-worshippers told to stay at home. Words such as Islamophobia, homophobia, transphobia, marathonophobia and cyclophobia are bandied around as a way of stopping debate.

One of the Little Sisters of the Post models her new habit.

So from now, Christians will be behaving more like Muslims and the other protected groups. Expect Christians to jump out at you with knives crying "Shine, Jesus, Shine!" (for the Catholics, Pope Francis has agreed to make a little update to the Catechism permitting this). Some religious denominations will take part in "Christian Pride", dressing up in gaily-coloured costumes, and insisting on the participation of policemen. Anyone who refuses to take part will be guilty of "hate crime".

"Some people thought we were real bishops!"

Catholics are also demanding special "Catholic lanes" in our streets, so that pilgrims can march in safety, unimpeded by cars, cycles, shoppers, etc. Anglicans are demanding that Henry VIII be accorded the same status as the prophet Mohammed - no cartoons or derogatory remarks allowed, and priests expected to sing "I'm Henry the Eighth, I am" from church towers as an early morning call to prayer. Baptists and other Sola Scriptura types will be taking "Bible-bashing" literally by slamming the Good Book down on the heads of any unbelievers.

"Are you sure this Christianity of yours is compatible with our gay faith?"

In the interests of equality, diversity, drone, drone, we think that this new Christian initiative will be popular with all sections of society. What could possibly go wrong?