This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 28 June 2015

It's Sloth Pride!

Brother Eccles couldn't be bothered to write this post himself, so we arranged for some else to put it together.

We are lazy, and we are proud of it! For too long the Catholic Church has persecuted those who share our orientation towards work (we turn our backs on it). However, we in the LBDN - Lazy Blighters Doing Nothing - Community are now ready to take action - although obviously we won't do very much.

Some people are lazy

Posters like this will soon be seen everywhere. Or maybe we won't bother.

Is it really right in this post-Vatican II era that Sloth should be a deadly sin? Why do the Catholics refuse to marry people who won't make the effort to go to church? Why should lazy people be prevented from taking communion, just because they stay in bed all day? For too long the Church has shown institutinalized Acediaphobia! Well, times are changing, and we slobs are coming out of the closet, although we'll probably be having a lie-down soon!

empty streets

London's Sloth Pride March! Unfortunately, nobody turned up.

We have the support of many senior clergy. We got someone to write a letter to Vincent Nichols, asking if he would give us a special church in the Westminster Archdiocese, where Sloth Masses could be held (we could watch them on television, of course). Cardinal Nichols showed true Sloth Awareness by not bothering to answer us. Likewise, in America we approached Cardinal Dolan; he was on a "Gluttony Pride" march at the time, but he did make us feel welcome.

empty pews

See! Sloth Masses are just like any other!

We even asked the Holy Father to dash off an encyclical for us, perhaps to be called Panem Otiosa. (I must look that up sometime, I'm told it's from Proverbs 31:27.) If he doesn't do it, we'll know he's supporting us by his actions! Indeed, Cardinal Kasper has already told us that we have the full support of the Pope, and that the 2015 Synod on the Family will welcome spokesmen for the lazy, the idle, the slothful and the work-shy. Not that any will be turning up.

Equal rights for the Lazy!

proud sloth

Sloth Pride!

14 comments:

  1. The success of this piece will be demonstrated by how few comments you get. In fact, I'm not sure that I can be bothered making one....

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  2. I couldn't be bothered either.

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  3. Don't do today what you can possibly put off till tomorrow.

    Tomorrow never comes.

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  4. I'd like to sign up for this movement once I get around to it.....

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  5. Perhaps the leading candidate for the Labour leadership, who is a "Catholic" has adopted the sloth policy in his forwarding of religious rights.

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  6. I am from the upper echelon of Master Sloths - I ran in here and jogged all around the blog because I am too lazy to be lazy, Grasshopper

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    Replies
    1. I hope you didn't drop your Widget when you were running around the Blog.

      You'll need that to finish building your Garden Workshop and Shopping Mall Complex.

      Delete
  7. Out and proud! Well, proud anyway, out seems a bit too much like hard work.

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  8. Four days since this post. Get up out of your pit and give us some more spiritaul nuorishment, Exxles.

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  9. On the subject of sloth: A wise man once said ... um ... oh whatever

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  10. Proverbs 31:27 is something about a wise woman not eating her bread idle.
    I just thought that you might be interested!

    ReplyDelete