Uniform row in Margate

Over in Margate, a row has broken out after some boys and girls were sent home for not wearing the appropriate uniform. Said the Headmaster, Fr Tim Finigan, "I was just preparing to offer Mass in the Extraordinary Form when a group of girls dressed as bishops came in and offered to assist. I sent them packing immediately."

Inappropriate wear for a religious service.

Fr Finigan reported the ringleader, 62-year-old Kathy Jefferts Schori, to her parents, but apparently the girl has always been regarded as "wild", and little could be done.

Worse was to follow, as some boys then took the place of the girls, and they were also dressed completely inappropriately.

No, no, no! The pantomime is at the Theatre Royal!

St Austin's, Margate, is generally known for its excellent academic perfomance, although discipline may sometimes be a problem. Our final picture shows some of the girls leaping in the air in traditional fashion, to celebrate their brilliant A level results.

"I got A* in everything except theology!"