In the end, you may vote for LA you have witnessed, as well as ones you haven't. How can I stop you?
By the way, my score is now 20.
Altar servers in trainers and hoodies
Animals Asperges guns Audience responses in the homily Bad cantors Bad hymns Balloons Bare feet Blessings from EMHC Changing words in the liturgy Clapping Clowns Communion in the hand Copies of Tablet in church Dancing priests Everyone sitting throughout Extra prayers from congregation Felt banners Female altar-servers Flash cards in the homily "Good morning, Father" Greeters
Guitars, etc. Holding hands in the Our Father Homily in the aisle Homily given by laity Idols Introducing ourselves to our neighbours
LGBT glitter ash Liturgical dancing Non-Biblical readings, e.g. Vat II documents Notices lasting too long Orans position for the Our Father Ordinary bread consecrated Priest next to boyfriend during readings Priest without vestments Priest with coloured shirt Puppets/dolls Rainbow flags
Roller-skating angels Secular music Sign of peace Singing Happy Birthday Standing for the consecration Standing to end of Communion
May the worst abuse win!
For those who really want to know, this is the draw for the qualifying round. Two go through from each heat, which, with the 18 that were given a bye, makes 32 survivors for the main competition.
1 Guitars, etc. 1 Singing Happy Birthday 1 Dancing priests 1 Idols 2 Felt banners 2 Animals 2 Blessings from EMHC 2 Audience responses in the homily 3 Extra prayers from congregation 3 Everyone sitting throughout 3 Introducing ourselves to our neighbours 3 LGBT glitter ash 4 Altar servers in trainers and hoodies 4 Non-Biblical readings, e.g. Vat II documents 4 Copies of Tablet in church 4 Clapping 5 Notices lasting too long 5 Female altar-servers 5 Rainbow flags 5 Sign of peace 6 Clowns 6 Standing for the consecration 6 Orans position for the Our Father 6 Asperges guns 7 Standing to end of Communion 7 Priest with coloured shirt 7 Homily given by laityAlso, it came too late to be included, but an honourable mention for this video, sent in by Hilary White. "Commentators"!
Oh all right, put that into group 7, which is already one short.
Wow! 24.
ReplyDeleteI've got you beat Hilary! I count 26, and I didn't even count 'copies of the Tablet'. Never seen that in the States, but I have seen the National 'Catholic' Distorter and Sinn Fein papers!
DeleteMy number's 16, and that's just from the occasional wedding/funeral/first Communion. Voting may be tough because really they're all worst. But I'll give it my best.
ReplyDeleteI've tried (very hard) to start counting, but, HONESTLY, I CANNOT stop LAUGHING !!!
ReplyDeleteI really MUST have a good read of VAT TWO Documents. That should stop me laughing.
Must have led a very sheltered (and blessed) life as a Catholic... only 17 and that's simply because of all the school Masses I've had to sit through, as well as occasional visits to the Cathedral...
ReplyDelete16.
DeleteI wondered what a Commentator was too. I don't think I have seen one of those. I am surprised that arm waving conducting by someone up on the altar has not been included in the list. An unnecessary distraction. In my parish we are all capable of singing in unison the Credo, Gloria, etc without the aid of a 'demented windmill' up front. Yet in some parishes even the simplest of hymns has to be accompanied by an arm waver.
ReplyDeleteI'm counting my blessings. I've been at this parish for approximately 17 years and count only to 11 (and a couple-- the IGMR specifically authorizes felt banners, I'm fairly certain, in a footnote somewhere-- I can't conscientiously count as abuse, as much as I'd like to). Am not going to revisit the trauma of the Jesuit parishes etc pre-2000 for the sake of anybody's World Cup. Sorry, Eccles. :-)
ReplyDeletePope Francis calls priest while he is celebrating Mass, reading the Gospel, priest takes call, pauses Mass to give Pope a round of applause. https://gloria.tv/post/3heEaCw3SA2YBKU1zkKLnTG9x
ReplyDeleteI made it to 29. I wish I lived a more sheltered life.
ReplyDeleteYay! I've been looking forward to another Eccles World Cup. The options are agone though. In each round I'd like to vote for about two or three!
ReplyDelete26 because I live in Florida.
ReplyDelete21 from parishes in the UK and Canada
ReplyDeleteAll but asperges guns, because we don't have asperges.
ReplyDeleteVatican synods, once a bracing slap in the face of Tradition, are now passe & predictable. Inspired by #WCLA, the Vatican presents its new game show: What’s My Liturgical Abuse? hosted by infamous liturgist Hannibale “Lector” Bugsbunni.
ReplyDeleteGame rules: Lector must discern each contestant’s Liturgical Abuse and its pew-emptying potential for social distancing.
Contestants:
1. Team Martin-McCarrick. Architects of Building Bridges (Erector Set not included).
Lector seemed stumped by their abuse of 12 Dancing Rainbow Men.
2. Jack Ripper. London M.E. & Prostitution Reformer.
Lector pronounced no judgement upon Mr. Ripper’s abuse which involved several Dancing Deaconettes, 4 muddy idols, & an Asperges squirt gun.
3. Team Gates-Soros who cleverly claimed the right to remain silent (The Dubia Defense).
Finally Lector announced: “I’ll bite. Top Prize goes to our entire network of Population Control & Liturgical Abuse experts. That should empty plenty of pews.
Say, where are all those Trad Catholics headed now...?