This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Anti Moly's belloved

Fings seemed to be settling down a bit wiv us. Bosco was improvvin his mind by readin "De Big Boy's Book of Cathlic Crimes". Dis told him dat de Pop wears red shoes so dat it don't show if he treads in a pool of blud when visitin de Vattican torcher chambbers. It explanes a mysterry dat has obssessed Anti Moly for a long time.

De book also has a famuous photo of two Cathlics with a pithcfork, dey is gonna torment poor innocent poeple who only wants to be saved, by pokin dem wiv it. Dey finks it will make dem holey.

Cathlic torcher

Wot a pair of misery gutts, if dey was saved dey would dress up as clowns like Bosco does. Also dey wuold smile a bit.

Anyway, last nihgt we heard screemin and luod conservations comin from Anti Moly's room. Dis is quite usaul when she is bloggin and has an all-nihgt meltdown, but de strange fing is dat dere was anuvver deeper vioce accompanyin her screems.

Bosco and me stood outside her door, wonderin what to do.

"Eccles, do you fink dat Cradinal Pell have come back to claim de hand of our dere Anti?" Bosco asked. "Perhapps he is fedd up wiv bein a costume holly man and wants to sample de delihgts of de flesh."

"Well it cant be Herrman Gorring," I said, "cos I fink he's dead. What uvver admirrers did she have?"

"YOU IS MINE. YOU IS ALL MINE." said de deep vioce in Anti Moly's bedroom. "I WANTS TO POSESS YOU. YAHAHAHAHA!"

"You is an attention-seekin bore from de click of traddie RCs and de armies of sockpoppets. Pretty sick, eh?" screeched my dere Anti Moly.

"Dis sure is a romanttic conservation dey is havin," I said to Bosco. "Anti Moly aint usually as affecttionate as dat."

We was very currious to see what Anti's new suiter might look like, so we knokced on the door and went in. Dis was de chap wot was talkin to my dere rellative.

Molys freind

He seemed to me like an uggly-lookin chap, but I spose dat Anti can't be too choosy. I greeted him as I greets all new poeple.

"Ullo, sir, I is Eccles and I is saved. Plaesed to meet you. Is you Cradinal Pell?"


I didnt quite see what he was luaghin at, but den I doesnt often see jokes. Bosco and me crept out leavin de lovebirds billin and cooin toggether. I fuoght I heard Anti Moly cry "HELP! EXERCISSE ME!" as I left, but bein a cleen-minded lad who is saved I aint gonna specculate on what she was doin in her bedroom wiv Mr Demnos.

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